


Right Here, Right Now

by OllieCatSuperNova



Series: High School Wasn't Meant to Last Forever [3]
Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Chad and Ryan go public, Chad steps out of the closet, Chad's POV, M/M, Ryan drinks, Ryan is very gay, Ryan's POV, Vance Evans is a homophobic racist oops, and swears like a sailor, but it might have a happy ending, but so is Chad, college tears people apart, there will be smut, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2018-11-01 21:27:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10930368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OllieCatSuperNova/pseuds/OllieCatSuperNova
Summary: Chad and Ryan are finally finding their place together, but will their plans to officially come out to East High end in flames?And with senior year coming to an end, will the young couple find a way to stay together, or simply go their separate ways?Ryan and Chad are in for a hell of a ride.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WOW OKAY  
> Here it is! Here is part three!  
> I do hope that all of you lovely folks enjoy this one as much as you seemed to enjoy the first two.
> 
> So, without further ado,  
> PART THREE:

Ryan was hot, sweaty, and his limbs were starting to feel like jello, but seeing Chad so happy, so thoroughly enjoying himself, made everything totally worth it. “Come on,” he breathed, urging Chad on, watching the way his deep brown eyes took in everything around him, watching his toned muscles relax and contract with his every move. Chad was so in control, so in his element, and frankly Ryan found it so attractive that he’d do anything to see the other boy like this.

 

But Ryan hated that fucking mascot costume, with everything he had. They did pay him for it- not that it mattered much what with his family’s riches- and it did give him an excuse to hang out with Chad more, especially since they still weren’t public with this yet. He did a few backflips as that Wildcats made another basket, a little surprised with himself that he actually followed the game.

 

Another point for the Wildcats, and another…

 

After the game, after the team had crowded around Troy, who was holding the trophy proudly, after people had just started to leave, Chad dragged Ryan behind the bleachers, kissing him hard before spinning them around. He still felt stupid for doing this, for stealing kisses under the bleachers, and it felt even more ridiculous when the guy kissing him was clad in a furry wildcat costume, but honestly Chad would do anything for these intoxicating kisses.

 

Ryan deserved better though. It was time for Chad to come out to the world.

 

***

 

The afterparty was awesome. It was set up in Troy’s yard, Kelsi was DJ-ing, and best of all, Zeke had smuggled in a bottle of vodka. Ryan had shed the upper half and the feet of the mascot costume, but he kept the lower half on- the part with the tail. He’d taken it upon himself to put the vodka into an empty water bottle, slipping the now-empty glass one into his bag. They couldn’t take any chances with the adults or scholarship administrators finding it.

 

He slipped into the throng of people, dancing along to the beat of the music, enjoying the steady flow of fellow partiers, red plastic cup full of heavily spiked punch in his right hand. He noticed Troy approaching, and he turned and “unintentionally” backed into him while dancing, pressing the tail briefly against Troy’s crotch. It was a mischievous gesture, one that he knew Troy wouldn’t mind. Troy just kept walking, only pausing momentarily to say teasingly, “Watch that tail, man, it’s dangerous!”

 

Ryan snickered, taking another swig of his alcohol-filled cup. “You know it!” he called back. Sure, him and Chad were a thing, and true, almost no one knew about them, but Troy was one of the people who knew. There was only four people who knew in all, other that Chad and Ryan themselves: Taylor, Zeke, Gabriella and Troy.

 

He didn’t notice Chad standing at the edge of the crowd, scribbling some words onto his favorite basketball with a sharpie. He didn’t notice Chad hand Taylor the sharpie and throw the basketball into the crowd. He certainly didn’t notice said basketball soar towards him, or Chad praying that he’d catch it. He _did_ notice it, however, when it hit him directly in the face.

 

Chad rushed into the crowd, shoving people out of the way to get to Ryan because holy shit did that plan backfire. Ryan was on his knees, hunched forward and clutching his nose with both hands, hat long gone. “Shit, Ryan are you okay?” He laid a hand carefully on Ryan’s back, kneeling down in concern. “I didn’t mean to… shit, I’m so sorry.”

 

Ryan looked up at him, all piss and vinegar. Chad cringed a little at the vicious scowl the blond gave him. “The fuck were you thinking?” he spat, and blood practically sprayed out from under his hands. Chad’s eyes grew huge as he jumped back in shock. The music was still playing, though a bit quieter, and the group of dancing people had formed a protective barrier around Ryan, everyone trying to hide what had happened from the adults that were present.

 

“R-Ryan, I… I’ll go get you some ice!” Chad squeaked, standing abruptly and moving towards the house. Shit, this was bad, what the hell had he been thinking? Of course tossing Ryan a basketball with a cute message was a bad idea during a loud dance party.

 

He watched Chad run off, and when he looked down he realised that his shirt was stained with his own blood. Ryan cursed again under his breath, gently prodding his nose, which was _way_ too sore to be able to tell if it was broken or not. “ _Fuck_!” he snapped to himself as he spat out more blood. Taylor offered him the basketball, but Ryan just turned away, so pissed that he was scary. She cautiously set the ball in front of him and slowly walked away.

 

Ryan noticed that it had scribbly black lines on it, and when he looked closer he saw that it actually read: **WiLL U GO OUT WiTH Me?** He smirked despite the burning pain in the middle of his face, and when Chad rushed back, clutching a bag of ice and a cloth, Ryan stood up, gritting his teeth.

 

Chad stopped short, because Ryan was downright _scary_ right now. Maybe it had to do with the alcohol that he’d obviously snuck in- he wasn’t usually this pissed over accidental stuff, and when he _was_ mad, it was more like cute and grumpy. Ryan snatched the bag of ice and the cloth out of Chad’s hands, muttering, “Maybe I’d date you properly if you didn’t chuck fucking basketballs at my face,” and stalked off, wrapping the ice in the cloth and holding it to his nose.

 

Chad watched him go, sad that things had gone so wrong, but Taylor gave him a tight side-hug and guided him to the swings, well away from the party. This was going to be a long night.

 

***

 

Ryan woke the next day with a splitting headache, sprawled out on his bed, with nothing but his bed-sheets covering his crotch. He sat up to look around, and immediately regretted it, because a sharp pain just shot through his skull. He groaned, but then he sensed movement, so he looked over the edge of his bed to see Chad, fully clothed, sleeping on the floor. His breath caught, because what if Chad saw him? What if Chad saw his ugly morning hair and face and stopped liking him?

 

He cautiously ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing his eyes to clear them of sleep dust, and groomed himself as well as he could while still in bed with a major headache. He glanced back down at Chad, making sure he hadn’t been watching, when he noticed the other boy clutching a basketball to his chest while he slept. So Ryan grabbed a feather pillow clad in silk cloth, and lazily flung it over the side of his bed, hitting Chad smack in the face.

 

Chad woke with a start, tossing the pillow back playfully without thinking, and the second it made contact with Ryan’s face, the blond shrank back, hands immediately cupping his nose protectively. “ _Fuck_ !” he gasped, and okay, maybe he swore a lot, but this fucking _hurt_ and he had no clue why.

 

Chad was at his side in an instant, rubbing his back in concern. “Shit, babe I’m so sorry,” and Ryan would be damned if he didn’t hear guilt lacing Chad’s words.

 

Ryan narrowed his eyes, voice low and almost menacing as asked, “Chad, what the hell did you do?”

 

Chad all but flinched. “Uh, you were dancing, drinking, and I uh…” Chad broke off to chew on his lower lip nervously before looking away in guilt, continuing in a single rushed breath, “I threw you my basketball and it hit you in the face.” Ryan stared blankly at him. Alright, so he’d been drunk, that explained the whole forgetting thing. “I know it was a stupid idea, but Taylor thought it was cute when I told her the plan so I went through with it. I’m so sorry, Ryan, please don’t hate me, I love you so much and I’m an idiot for even considering throwing anything at you-”

 

“Chad!” Ryan interrupted and the brown-eyed boy quickly shut up. Chad was rambling- something he did only when he was really serious and nervous, so Ryan was ready to forgive him, as long as he explained exactly what the hell had happened. “We should get to school, you can explain the whole night on the way.” Ryan made a move to get up when another thought occurred to him. “Why am I naked while you’re sleeping fully-clothed on my floor…?”

 

Chad ducked his head shyly. “You, uh, wanted me to ride you but I didn’t want to because you seemed…”

 

He seemed to be at a loss for words so Ryan offered, “Blasted?”

 

Chad flashed a half-smile and continued, “Yeah, uh, so I kept my clothes and made sure you got to sleep, which was pretty fast.” Ryan noticed the light blush creeping onto Chad’s face as he murmured quietly, “I mean, after you jerked off, that is…”

 

Now Ryan was blushing, because who the fuck knew what he said when he was jerking off while drunk. “What did I, uhm, say?” he asked, slipping into some clean clothes, noticing how remarkably not-covered-in-his-own-come he was, considering.

 

Chad grabbed his beloved basketball, standing stiffly because sleeping on the floor was not the best idea in the world. “You swore a lot, I mean, I didn’t even know some of those words existed.” Ryan snickered because yeah, maybe he did swear a lot. “You also kept yelling at me to ride you, but I didn’t want… I didn’t want to for a few reasons.”

 

Ryan grabbed his school bag and headed out the door, Chad at his heels. “Oh?” Interesting. A few reasons… “Like what? Like you’re so fine with oral but anything else freaks you out?” He didn’t mean for it to sound _so_ scalding, but come on. Ryan had tasted every inch of sensitive skin that Chad possessed, and Chad had given his fair-share of blow-jobs as well.

 

“Ryan, no, I… I didn’t want to take advantage of you while you were drunk, I didn’t know where your, uh, lube was, and on top of that, I don’t want our first time doing… _that_ to be while one- or both of us for that matter- is drunk.” They hopped into Chad’s car. It was a very used, very rusty chevy-something or other, red. It was a really shitty car, but it ran, and when you’re in high school, that’s all that really mattered- well, not in the Evans’ case, but they weren’t the average high school kids. “Your car’s still at Troy’s. I didn’t really want to chance driving something that expensive.”

 

Ryan nodded, wincing at the pain caused by the small movement. He hadn’t been this hungover since… well he honestly couldn’t remember. Maybe it was new year’s day or something. “I’ll get it after school, and I’ve told you that you’re free to drive it whenever you want. Mom said it was my car and I can do with it what I want.”

 

And speaking of… “Ducky!” They both turned, and Ryan rolled down the hand-crank window of Chad’s old beater as Ryan’s mother ran up to them before they could drive off. “You forgot your tea,” she said lovingly, handing her son something that looked to Chad like a smoothy with small black balls in the bottom, a straw sticking out of the top.

 

“Th-” Ryan winced at his own loud, excited voice, saying more calmly, “Thanks mom.”

 

She immediately reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen and handed him that as well. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor for these sudden headaches, Ducky?”

 

Ryan swallowed a pill, putting the bottle in this bag. “Mom, I’m fine, really. I’ll call you if I need to go home early.” He put the smoothy-tea-thing in one of Chad’s cupholders and kissed his mom on the cheek. “Just see what you can do about Dad. I really _really_ don’t want to go to that “family dinner” or whatever he’s calling it.”

 

She drew away from the car, letting them drive off. “I’ll talk to him again,” she promised as Chad pulled out of their long driveway.

 

Chad chuckled, “Ducky?” Ryan just winked at him, leaning far back into the seat, and taking a sip of his drink. “Also, your mom thinks you just get random headaches? How often do you get hungover?”

 

Ryan glanced at him, “Oh, maybe once, twice a week?” Chad gave him a hard look, but it only lasted a second because he did have to drive at the moment. “I’m kidding! It’s been like, almost half a year now, probably. Haven’t even taken a sip since we started, you know,” he made a vague gesture, not sure what to call it anymore. It didn’t seem like just fucking, but they weren’t really dating, Chad had never asked and Ryan sure wasn’t going to push him. “So, are you going to tell me about last night?”

 

Chad flashed a shy half-smile, “Well…” He went into a full account of what had happened the night before, and Ryan was soon laughing hysterically, the throbbing pain in his head now muted. “What?” Chad mumbled indignantly.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” Ryan snickered, taking another sip of his drink, “I mean, I’ve been told that I’m a scary drunk, but…” he shook his head, still smiling widely. “Whatever. So what did the ball say? Is it the one in the backseat?” Chad nodded, so Ryan reached back and grabbed it, reading the messy print. **WiLL U GO OUT WiTH Me?** _Oh_. “Chad I…” He looked up to see that hardly noticeable blush creeping into his cheeks. “I’d love to, I…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

 

Chad pulled into the school’s parking lot, turning to Ryan and just… _staring_. Finally they kissed, deep, heated. Ryan tasted like raspberries, like his tea, and Chad tasted like mint toothpaste.

  
The flavours mixed perfectly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are wack when it comes to length  
> the other two parts were way more consistent  
> let me know what you think!

Ryan was relaxed in his seat, the painkillers effectively easing his hangover, taking another sip of his raspberry boba tea. He drank it every morning, and honestly, he was surprised that Chad hadn’t noticed until now. “Dad, it’s boba tea, not a smoothy.” He offered his now-official boyfriend his cup. “It’s also called bubble tea. It’s really good, just try some!”

 

Chad blushed a little whenever Ryan called him dad or daddy in public, but maybe that was why Ryan did it. Chad held his hand up, “No way, man. I’m gonna stick to protein shakes and coke.” Ryan scoffed and chewed on his straw a little, crossing his arms in his usual cute grumpiness. “Hey,” he whispered, leaning closer, “It’s gonna take me awhile to get used to this whole public gay thing, okay?”

 

Ryan nodded, even though he didn’t really like the idea of it. “It’s okay, I get it,” but he really didn’t. He was in  _ theater _ , of course he was accepted as- even expected to be- gay. Chad was a jock, something Ryan had trouble wrapping his mind around. Sure, he knew that the whole locker-room thing would be a tall hurdle to jump, but he didn’t-  _ couldn’t- _ know just how hard it would be. He also didn’t mention prom, because of course Chad would ask him. He had to, it was practically against the rules  _ not _ to.

 

The bell rang and Chad slumped back into his seat, basketball tucked securely between his torso and desk. Ryan looked at him for a while, making a mental note to finally get to the bottom of why he carried that thing around constantly. Ms. Darbus finally began her rounds, “We are all excited about our Wildcats’ top-to-bottom championships-”

 

“That would be “back-to-back”, Ms. Darbus,” Chad offered unhelpfully. Ryan smirked at him. As it turned out, ibuprofen worked to numb the pain of his nose too.

 

“Whatever the case,” she went on, “it was a grand slam. Well done!” Chad beamed at that, and as the classroom continued to buzz with reports for upcoming events, Ryan gazed at Chad, who gazed back a bit shyly. Okay, so maybe Chad was ready to go public.

 

***

 

Chad was definitely  _ not _ ready to go public. Every time Ryan looked at him his face would get really hot and his chest would get all fluttery, and he dreaded what would happen to his sports life when news about them got around the school. God, the locker rooms would be hell after the other jocks found out. Sure, Troy wouldn’t-  _ didn’t- _ care in the least, and though Zeke had been awkward at first, Chad suspected it had more to do with the fact that he’d walked in on them post-sex, and he’d calmed down within a week of finding out. Jason would be fine, that kid was too stupid to care, and maybe some of the others, like those freshmen, Rocketman and… that kid that was always around him, they would be fine.

 

But some of the others… He didn’t want to think about it. Maybe he should start slow? No, Ryan deserved  _ now _ , he’d waited long enough. It had been almost a year since they’d been together, since that baseball game last summer, and Ryan deserved to be open, free. He was broken out of his trance when Darbus announced that, thanks to Kelsi, almost the entire homeroom was going to be in the upcoming musical. 

 

He threw a glare at Kelsi, who shrank down in her seat under everyone’s annoyed stares. The bell rang, and they all moved on to their next classes, Chad and Ryan just happened to have the same class, and that class was World History. This was good news, because not only was it an easy class where they usually just watched movies, but the teacher didn’t care what the class did as long as they turned in something and did decent on quizzes and tests, which were few and far between. So when Chad got there, all frustrated by being forced to be in a freaking musical, Ryan winked at him and nodded towards the hall.

 

Chad narrowed his eyes a little, confused about what Ryan could mean, but then he realised. Kelsi was Ryan’s best friend, had been since the winter musicale last year, and he probably wanted to talk to Chad about how he shouldn’t blow up at her for signing everyone up- even though they did all have plans. 

 

***

 

Ryan watched him go, a smirk playing on his lips. He waited a couple of minutes before asking for a pass as well, and no one looked twice about it. He strode out of the room, heading to the nearest restroom, where he found Chad, leaning against the wall waiting for him. Ryan didn’t hesitate, simply stepped up and pressed a kiss to his lips. He drew away slowly, and Chad looked at him, surprised. “A-aren’t you gonna tell me to not get mad at Kelsi?” he stuttered, glancing around.

 

Ryan chuckled, looking at Chad’s body before pressing him against the wall. “And why would I do that when I can simply drive you mad instead?” Chad gulped and leaned back, gasping quietly when Ryan started sucking on his neck, and  _ oh god what if someone came in _ ? 

 

“R-Ryan,” he whimpered, already feeling heat pool in his lower stomach, “s-stall… handicap…” Ryan smirked against his neck, pulling him forcefully into the large handicap stall at the far side of the restroom. Ryan let go briefly, latching the door, before pressing Chad against the tile wall. 

 

“I swear to god, Chad,” Ryan murmured, kissing him roughly. Ryan slid his hands up Chad’s shirt, rubbing his chest in slow, smooth circles. “You’ve been all hot and bothered all day, and though I don’t know the reason  _ why _ , I do know how to  _ fix _ it.” He pulled Chad’s shirt collar down and started sucking on his neck, just above his collar bone. Chad practically melted back against the wall, doing his very best not to moan out loud.

 

This was stupid, they were going to get caught- and somehow that only turned him on more. “I…  _ shit _ … Ryan, please…” He whimpered, not even knowing what he was pleading for anymore. Ryan let out a low, quiet groan, pressing their hips together before drawing away and sinking to his knees. He looked up at Chad through his dark lashes and started to unbutton chad’s jeans. Chad just  _ stared _ , wide eyed and heart hammering. Ryan took off his hat and placed it gently on the floor next to him, giving Chad a mischievous grin before unzipping Chad’s fly with his  _ teeth. _

 

Chad grabbed Ryan’s short hair tightly with one hand, and used the other to stifle a moan. Ryan made a gasping noise when Chad pulled his hair, and quickly freed Chad’s half-hard dick from his pants. “You’re so fucking good, Chad,” Ryan hummed, licking him into full arousal. Chad’s legs tried to spread further apart, but it didn’t really work when he has focussed on just staying upright.

 

Ryan wasted no time, just started bobbing back and forth, working his throat open. Chad was doing everything he could to stay quiet, and Ryan was doing everything he could to pull any noise out of him. The tongue, the throat, the  _ everything _ . Chad felt himself get close, willed himself closer, pulling rhythmically on Ryan’s hair, reveling in the vibrations that traveled through Ryan’s throat and to Chad’s cock as a result. 

 

Chad’s hips bucked forward and he came, letting out a choked whimper as he tried desperately to stay quiet. Ryan slowly pulled off, swallowing everything down smoothly, and damn it, he was hot. “Fuck,” Ryan breathed, “that was fast.” Chad nodded, panting and trying to steady his rapidly beating heart. He had to get back to class or people would get suspicious. Ryan stood up, putting his hat back on, and slipped out, murmuring, “I’ll let you catch your breath.”

 

Chad sagged against the wall for a while, wondering how the hell Ryan could blow him and then act like nothing happened. He had to be a sex-god or something.

 

***

 

Ryan sat back down in his seat, and was so fucking glad that he watched enough gay porn and jerked off so much  that he wasn’t hard  _ now _ . That would surely give away what had happened in the restroom. Instead, Ryan was calm, cool, and although he knew that Chad would have weak knees and a hicky, maybe no one would guess- and if they did, well…

 

Chad came back to the room, looking exactly the same as he did any other time they had sex, only this time his face was practically beat-red. Ryan tried not to smile, but it didn’t really work. Okay, maybe the class would know, but at least Chad  _ had _ agreed to go public anyways. 

 

Class was over, and now they had free-period. Great, time to head to the theater to complain about having to be in a freaking musical. He followed the group as they practically chased Kelsi to her piano, no one being heard since they were all talking at the same time. She sat behind the piano, using it to protect her against the crowd of angry peers. “Sorry!” she quipped, “Jeez, I just thought that since it was the last show, everyone would want to do it!”

 

There was a moment of dead silence until they all exploded again, making up excuses so they wouldn’t have to join- that is, until Gabriella spoke up, “Hey!” They all went quiet and looked at her. “Hey, you guys, listen up. Kelsi's right. We should do this. This is our last chance to do something together. All of us. Something  _ really _ fun.” 

 

“Oh, yippee,” Chad said, crossing his arms stubbornly. This was stupid, and even though Ryan had relieved most of his tension last hour, he was still stubborn enough to not go down quietly.

 

“So what do you say, Wildcats?” There was another beat of silence before they all started arguing again, and Chad was vaguely aware of Gabriella turning to Troy, giving his one of her please-just-for-me? looks. Great.

 

“I’m in.” Damn it, Troy! Okay, but that didn’t mean that he had to be in it too. He played idly with the basketball in his hands. “It’ll be fun,” Troy offered, shrugging helplessly.

 

Chad sighed.  _ Fine _ , he would back up his buddy, but just this once. “How much time is it gonna take? And what the heck is it even gonna be about?”

 

That’s when Ms. Darbus stepped in. She motioned for Chad to toss her the ball, which he did, smirking curiously. She dribbled a few times and answered, “The show, Mr. Danforth, is about you.” He swallowed thickly, because he did  _ not _ want to go into detail about his life, his relationship with Ryan, during a freaking  _ musical _ . 

 

He took a deep breath, “Hold up, so if it’s about me, can I have my ball back? Please?” She threw him the ball, which he caught and clutched to his chest. It would make the nerves go away, he just knew it, it always did. He idly ran his thumb over the slightly bumpy surface, focusing on the rubbery feeling of it. Basketball was easy, coming out as gay was not.

 

“It’s about all of you,” she went on, and Chad relaxed even more. He saw Ryan move out of the corner of his eye and noticed that Sharpay had “fainted” and Ryan was reviving her with a bottle of perfume, some new girl helping out. Ryan rolled his eyes and walked away as soon as Sharpay could stand on her own. “And all of you will create it!” Chad rolled his eyes as Darbus went on, “A show about your final days at East High… We’ll call it, “Senior Year”!” 

 

“Genius,” Sharpay muttered sarcastically.

 

Darbus turned to her and tsked, “Playing a role is easy, but being yourself- now  _ that’s _ a challenge.” Darbus high-fived Troy, even though he was clearly raising his hand to ask a question.”Kelsi will compose, Ryan will choreograph.” Chad grinned as Ryan let out a relieved breath, excited for the chance Darbus was giving him. “And I will direct.”

 

“Thank you,” Ryan breathed to her happily. 

 

“Now, I have some very important news from…” it was just like her to pause for effect, “...the Juilliard School in New York City, America’s preeminent college for the performing arts!” Chad watched Ryan’s eyes widen in nervous excitement- apparently it was a good school. “For the first time in East High history, Juilliard is considering four of you for one available scholarship. Miss Sharpay Evans,” she began listing them off.

 

“I’m already packed,” came her reply.

 

“Mr. Ryan Evans.”

 

“Dance!” Ryan burst, breath stuttering in the cutest way.

 

“Miss Kelsi Nielsen.”

 

Her eyes lit up, “What? They got my letter?”

 

“They certainly did!” Darbus kept walking, keeping everyone’s attention. “And lastly, Mr. Troy Bolton.”

 

Chad stifled a snicker, but Zeke, hell, Zeke full on  _ cackled _ , head thrown back, unable to catch it quick enough. Troy just gasped, clearly surprised, and breathed out, “What?”

 

“Juilliard will be sending representatives to observe our show,” Darbus went on without skipping a beat, “So good luck to our four applicants.” Chad just leaned against the piano, snickering and joking with Zeke. Troy really should get his act together, basketball or theater, pick one. Ryan kissed him lightly on the cheek, asking what was up, and joining in on the teasing. Darbus then told them to line up downstage, which they all did, a bit confused.

 

She called him up first, asking him about his plans for the future. “That’s easy,” he chuckled, “It’s U of A, hoops all the way!”

 

Taylor was up next, and she proudly announced that she was going to be president one day- after college. Martha burst in before Darbus could go on, and behind her was a flock of willing back-up dancers. Looks like the show was actually going to happen. She called Troy up next, but when Chad looked over at him, he had his nose buried in the theater school pamphlet. Chad elbowed him, and he immediately looked up. “Your future, Mr. Bolton?” Darbus prompted.

 

“Oh, yeah, uh…” Troy stalled. Chad could punch him for being so confused. They had talked about this since they were like, five. They were going to U of A, together. “You know, uh…” Chad gave him a pointed look, but he just kept on stalling, “I’ve been thinking about… uh....”

 

But then Gabriella stepped up, saving him like she always did, “I think we should stage the perfect prom.” For the love of god, Bolton! Chad said it all through his eyes, and Troy just shrugged helplessly. Okay, this was serious.

 

***

 

Ryan caught him after fourth hour, just before lunch. “Hey, do you wanna hang out? Maybe sneak out and have some  _ real _ food?” To his surprise, Chad shrugged him off. “What’s wrong? I didn’t cross a line in the restroom earlier, did I?”

 

Chad shook his head. “No! I just… I’m not hungry. Maybe after school or something,” he said, turning to walk away. Okay, now Ryan was confused- but wait a second, could he…?

 

He didn’t want to say it. God he didn’t want to, but he’d made a promise not to push Chad. “Hey, if you don’t wanna go public, I get it, we-”

 

But then Chad interrupted him, “No, Ryan, it’s not that, I…” He looked off into the distance, and Ryan followed his gaze to none other than Troy. “I… I just need to go shoot some hoops, I’ll be fine.” Ryan could tell by his tone that he was  _ not _ fine, and he wasn’t going to be fine, but he let him go anyways. After all, the Evans family sure knew how to get to the bottom of things. He’d help Chad whether he wanted help or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i'd like to give a shout out to my editor  
> you guys, they're so funny and nice, i love them  
> (also my "beta" doesn't really "beta" things, so i rely on my editor to help with spelling/grammatical errors)  
> SO THANK YOU, WONDERFUL EDITOR, FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP  
> (any other mistakes are completely my fault, oops)

That night Ryan got a text. It was from Chad. _“can we wait? Troy’s got my head all messed up i might need some time…”_ Ryan sighed, because there was no way his stupid boyfriend? fuck-buddy? knew how that sounded. It _sounded_ like Chad was outright admitting that he was cheating on him, but luckily Ryan was smart enough to know that Troy was freaky-serious about monogamous relationships and was thoroughly smitten with Gabriella.

 

He sent a text back, weirdly articulate despite his dyslexia. _“Yeah, that’s fine.”_ Then he sent another, after a moment of thought. _“I’ll be busy teaching our peers how to waltz for prom.”_ He meant it as a joke, but he also hoped that Chad would get the hint and ask him already. He’d been looking at different tuxedos for the occasion, and he was pretty happy with maybe three of them, it all depended on what Chad chose to wear. He pulled his lap-top back towards him, hitting the spacebar. He bit the inside of his cheek because this porno was one of the best he’d seen so far.

 

His phone chimed again, and he paused the video, checking the message. It was Chad again. _“sounds busy. maybe we can hang out this weekend if u have time”_ So maybe that’s when he was going to ask him to prom.

 

Ryan smiled and played the video again, sending back a quick, _“That sounds nice.”_ His hand slid into his boxer-briefs, and he let out a quiet moan. Maybe he did this too much, but as long as Chad kept ditching him, it would have to do.

 

***

 

Chad was so stressed out, and as a result he didn’t go anywhere without his basketball. Ball was easy, _so_ easy. He’d grown up playing it, knew everything there was to know about it without even thinking, and the whole school knew that it was pretty much just a part of his personality. It also held so many memories of him and Troy, it was why they’d become so close of friends in the first place, of course there was more to it now, much more, but it’s what had started it all.

 

He carried it to every class, to every store his mom dragged him to, to every diner the Wildcats went to to hang out, _everywhere_ \- until he was struck with a wonderful idea. It was sure to convince Troy to join him at U of A, like they’d planned for practically their whole lives. The plan was simple: prank Rocketman and his sidekick.

 

He met Troy right after practice one day, and pitched his idea for the prank to him. As expected, Troy loved it. They showered quickly, and dressed even faster, picking the locks of Danny? Donny? and Rocketman’s lockers, taking out every article of clothing they could find, and hiding in the next section on lockers, away from view.

 

The second the two freshmen walked into their locker section, wearing nothing but towels, Troy took a deep breath to keep from laughing. He nudged Chad and they casually strode into view. “Yo, Rocketman!” Troy called, gaining the two’s attention, “Thought you wanted our lockers?”

 

“It’s moving day,” Chad added with a sly grin. They led the over-excited freshmen to their locker section, gesturing for the two prepubescent teens to go to the two lockers.

 

“We weren’t just given these lockers,” Troy said seriously. Chad nodded in agreement as the two scrawny guys stepped up to the lockers. They reached up and tried the latches, which were locked of course. “We had to earn them,” Troy added with a sly glance at Chad.

 

“What’s the combo?” they asked in unison, and Chad actually second-guessed what they were doing for a fraction of a second, they were just like he and Troy had been but more douchey. Yeah, that’s why they were doing this: to show these dicks their place.

 

“Like he said. You gotta earn them,” Chad said serenely.

 

He grinned at Troy, who nodded minutely, and they took off just as the freshmen asked what they meant. They led those two ass hats all through the school. Through the gym where volleyball was practicing, through hallways and classrooms, even the garage where shop was working on projects. They led them all the way to the auditorium, where the senior class was practicing for the play. Chad heard Ryan’s voice before they entered, loud and proud. He was… counting? “Arms, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. Reach, two, three, four, stretch, six, seven, eight.”

 

They burst in, and Ryan abruptly stopped, staring at Chad with wide-eyes, but Chad was out of breath and laughing too hard to answer. Gabriella and Taylor jumped up and started taking pictures, and Ryan just watched Chad, disapproval just barely masking his amusement. Okay, so they have just gotten detention with Darbus, and okay, maybe Ryan would be mad at him for a bit, but seeing Troy so happy, and feeling this good in such a long time, it was totally worth it.

 

Totally.

 

***

 

Ryan met Chad just after school, running up to the stupid, idiotic jock. “Hey!” he called sternly, getting Chad’s attention. “What the hell was that?” He slid his arm around Chad’s waist as he waited for an answer, and Chad wrapped his arm around Ryan’s shoulders in response.

 

“Oh, uh,” Chad began awkwardly, “just something to help Troy get his head in the game, so to say.” He glanced around before pressing a quick kiss to Ryan’s temple. “Love you, babe,” he said almost cautiously.

 

Ryan grinned and started walking towards Chad’s car. “Hey,” he said quietly, sensing that Chad wanted to stay a bit subtle, “My mom texted me at noon. She can’t get my dad to cancel his stupid family dinner, but I don’t want to go by myself.” He looked up at Chad, who was walking on in silence, expression unreadable. “They said that Shar and I can bring dates.”

 

Chad opened the door for him before walking around the hood and climbing into the driver’s side. When they were situated in their seats, Ryan looked expectantly at Chad, who started the car and sighed, “When?”

 

“Tomorrow night,” Ryan replied, a little cautiously. Okay, it was short notice, but Ryan had been trying to avoid it, so it was inevitable, really. Chad started driving, but didn’t look at Ryan, didn’t say anything. “Um, Dad, I asked you a question,” Ryan smirked.

 

Chad glanced at him, “I was going to hang out with the team, but…” Ryan crossed his fingers, hoping that he’d say yes. God he didn’t want to have a family dinner, because that meant his more extended family was going to be there, which meant a night of Sharpay showing off while Ryan sat in the shadows. Plus if Chad came along, that would make coming out that much easier. He watched Chad, until warm brown eyes finally met his again, “Fine, I think I can manage Saturday with you.”

 

“Should I pick you up at noon? So we can hang out before the actual dinner?” Ryan wanted to steer clear of his house until he couldn’t avoid it any longer.

 

Chad drove up to Troy’s house, “Sure. Did you want to hang at my place or did you have somewhere else in mind?”

 

Ryan gave him a smile as he stepped out of the car, “We can hang out at your house. I mean, I’ve been there, once, but I didn’t really get a chance to hang out there, remember?” Chad smiled at the memory of the not so perfect dinner they had during the summer.

 

“Yeah, I remember,” he murmured just as the door shut. He watched Ryan stride over to his car, his beautiful dark blue mustang convertible. He took out his phone and texted Troy. “ _hey ryan picked up his car, so you can stop worrying about it_ ”

 

He got a reply almost instantly. “ _thanks. i didn’t want anyone to take it and end up getting sued or something_ ” Troy did have a point. Chad plopped his basketball onto his lap and pulled away from the curb, heading home. The whole way there, he idly ran a hand over his basketball, focusing on the soft rubber to calm his nerves. Ryan was coming over.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan spent Saturday morning avoiding his family, well, the majority of his family at least. He hid in the theater with his mom, watching _Rent_ and then _Into The Woods_ and lastly _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ of all things. It was a good morning. They just hid away from Vance and Sharpay who were greeting all of Ryan’s aunts and uncles, cousins and guests- well, not _all_ of his relatives, just the ones that Vance knew he could impress.

 

As soon as the movie ended, Ryan stood up and stretched. “I should go meet up with Chad, he’s probably waiting,” he said to his mother’s questioning gaze.

 

“Stay safe, Darling,” she cooed and gave him a big hug. She walked him out to the garage, taking care to help him avoid his father. She opened his car door for him and reminded, “Be back by six o’clock, Ducky, we don’t want your father to worry.” It was just like her, trying to keep Vance in a good light while siding completely with her son.

 

“Okay, thanks mom!” he beamed, letting her kiss his cheek. He was a momma’s boy through and through, what could he say? He pulled out of the garage, wearing the well-fitting pastel yellow button-down Chad had given him for Christmas, solid grey slacks and a matching grey fedora with a pale yellow ribbon. He placed his hat on the seat next to him so it wouldn’t fly off, slipped on a pair of sunglasses, and headed over to Chad’s house.

 

When he got there, Chad answered the door, ushering him inside and beaming at him with the most adorable adoration Ryan had ever seen. “You look… wow,” was all he could say.

 

Ryan spun around, ending in a pose. “You like it?” He smirked when Chad simply nodded, looking dumbstruck. “Come on,” he murmured, moving toward the stairs to Chad’s room. He passed Chad’s little sister, Zoey, on his way up, and he tipped his hat to her. “Miss Danforth,” he greeted elegantly.

 

She giggled and curtsied, only twelve years old, and asked shyly, “Are you one of Chad’s friends?”

 

Ryan nodded with his best show smile, he was an actor, after all. “I’m the prince who’s taking him to a ball tonight,” he explained with a teasing smirk in Chad’s direction.

 

Chad blushed thoroughly and ushered Ryan the rest of the way up the stairs. “We’re just having dinner at his place, Zo, don’t listen to him.” She grinned knowingly after them, so Chad added with a shy smile, “Ryan’s an _actor_ , you can’t believe everything he says.”

 

“Ryan?” Zoey asked, realisation dawning on her face. “Does Dad know he’s here? Does Mom?” She was grinning widely and Ryan had no clue why but he cold sure guess. “You gonna leave the door open? Like you had to do with Taylor?”

 

Chad shushed her and quickly led Ryan to his room, making sure to leave the door open a crack, and Ryan smirked at him. “In case she tells on me,” Chad explained with a grimace.

 

“So,” Ryan stretched the word out, looking over Chad’s room, before locking his eyes on the other teen, leaning in close and almost, _almost_ , kissing him. “Metal Gear?” he breathed, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

 

Chad chuckled, “Really? I thought you wouldn’t want to watch me play video games again. And we finished that Metal Gear Solid anyways. We also finished Metal Gear Solid 2.” Chad kissed him lightly on the lips, making a move to go further, but Ryan pulled away and batted his arm playfully.

 

Ryan smirked and held up the third game. “I heard this one has bosses named, like, “The Pain” and “The Sorrow”.  Come on!” He bounced over to Chad’s game system, turning it on and inserting the brand new disk. Chad rolled his eyes and followed. Ryan plugged in the controller and handed it up to Chad, who promptly sat down behind Ryan, leaning back against his bed and spreading his knees apart for Ryan to snuggle up between them. Which he did, placing his hat on the bed above them.

 

The opener for this game was different than the others, and Ryan absolutely loved the intro song. He made a mental note to look it up later. Chad quickly found the first boss, the Ocelot Unit, letting Ryan watch the story videos along the way, then found and beat Ocelot himself easily. Ryan was impressed, leaning his head against Chad’s solid chest. “Okay, so Ocelot is basically a big dick,” Ryan smirked, “Too bad too, he was kinda cute.”

 

Chad chuckled, resting the controller on Ryan’s stomach, thumbs still moving over the buttons and joysticks as he maneuvered Snake through the terrain. “Don’t go pining after videogame characters, especially if it’s the bad guy.”

 

Ryan pouted and crossed his arms. “But his clothes are so cool!”

 

Chad kissed the top of Ryan’s head, and murmured, “Well I’ll help you internet-shop for them and you can buy them.”

 

Ryan laughed, reaching up to lightly hit Chad’s shoulder. “Then you can be Snake!” he snorted, and Chad paused the game to laugh. Ryan turned around and braced himself on Chad’s hips, sliding his body further up between Chad’s legs. “You’re so cute when you laugh,” he chuckled.

 

Chad slowly stopped laughing, but the bright smile remained on his face, his warm brown eyes soft with love. “You’re always cute, babe,” he answered softly.

 

Ryan felt his heart speed up and he murmured, “Thanks Dad,” as he slowly leaned forward, soft smile unwavering. They kissed softly at first, then more rough as they both got more into touching each other, being with each other. Ryan practically lifted Chad up onto the bed, straddling him, hands caressing Chad’s face. He swiped his tongue over Chad’s lower lip until he willingly opened his mouth with a small noise.

 

“Fuck,” Ryan breathed, grinding a little against Chad’s solid body, reveling in the way he willingly submitted to him yet still managed to pull Ryan’s hair possessively. Ryan dipped his head and sucked on Chad’s neck, pulling strained moans and whimpers out of him, both rubbing up against each other.

 

Suddenly they heard Zoey yell, “Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! You’re back already?” and Chad pulled back, away from him, as Ryan cursed under his breath. Ryan stood, straightening his shirt and smoothing down his hair before settling his hat back onto his head.

 

“Sorry,” Chad murmured, looking down with guilt. Ryan glanced at the clock, it was about three in the afternoon, and he smirked at Chad. “What?” Chad asked slowly.

 

Ryan winked. “Well, we have about three hours until dinner is served. If you wanted, we could go to my place and…” he trailed off.

 

Chad bit his lower lip for a moment before sighing. “Nah, maybe we should save that for dessert.”

 

Ryan nodded, and held out his hand to help Chad up. “Are you up for lunch? Maybe hang out downstairs?”

 

“What should I wear by the way?” Chad asked, moving to the door.

 

Ryan smirked, eyeing Chad for a moment. He took in Chad’s torn jeans and green t-shirt, the one that said “I Majored in Vacation”. At least he only had one watch on. “Not that,” he replied, crossing his arms. “I’ll help you figure it out, don’t worry.” As they headed down the stairs, Ryan added, “Maybe something maroon.”

 

They went into the kitchen to greet Chad’s parents and get something to eat, and Ryan bowed elegantly upon entering the room. “Pleased to see you two again,” he said with an actor’s smile. He shook their hands, and stepped back next to Chad.

 

“Ryan, how nice to see you!” Mrs. Danforth beamed, putting a few groceries away.

 

Ryan stepped back up to her and took a cereal box from the bag, “Allow me, please.” She smiled approvingly at him as he put the box away, moving to get more. “It’s the least I can do, what with you being so kind as to let me into your home.”

 

Mr. Danforth grinned at him, then looked pointedly at Chad. “Well, if both of you boys could finish up in here, we could leave you to take Zoey to soccer practice.”

 

Chad got the hint. Though he’d never formally come out to his parents, or anyone in his family, they seemed to know and support him. Chad jumped at the chance to have the house alone with Ryan. “Yeah! Yeah, we can finish up in here!”

 

Ryan smiled that small, sincere smile that always made Chad’s heart skip. His parents left, Zoey already out the door and in the car, and Ryan grabbed a gallon of milk just as they heard the car pull out of the driveway. He went to the fridge, saying, “You know, if we’re going to find you some nice clothes we should leave early, maybe four-thirty or five, so we can raid my closet-” but he broke off abruptly as he stared into the fridge.

 

“What?” Chad prompted.

  
Ryan slowly put the milk onto a shelf and closed the door, turning to Chad and asking carefully, “Why is there a picture of Michael Crawford in your fridge?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit is going down and i apologize :')

Ryan pulled into his garage at about five o’clock- one hour until dinner. He led Chad up to his room, and blushed a little when his mom kissed him on the nose and went to distract his father so they could sneak up to his room undetected. He shut the door behind them and went straight to his walk-in closet, rifling through all of the dress-shirts and slacks that were a tad too big for him, but would be perfect for Chad.

 

“Wow, your closet is as big as my room,” Chad murmured behind him, sliding his hands around Ryan’s waist from behind. “I like how your clothes are organized, it’s like a perfect colour scale.”

 

Ryan smiled, “Actually, each level is a different size, the larger, the higher up. Then they’re organised by type, for example, dress-shirts to the left, t-shirts to the right. _Then_ these groups are organized by colour, white to black and then red to pink, like the rainbow.” He felt rather than heard Chad’s deep laugh. “Here,” he hummed, handing Chad a dark maroon button-down. He then moved on to the slacks, leaving Chad to change his shirt. “How about these?” Ryan asked, holding out a pair of charcoal slacks, “think they’ll fit?”

 

“They should,” Chad guessed, pulling his old jeans off and slipping into the slacks. Ryan hummed in appreciation, the outfit really worked well on him. “Ooh!” Chad breathed, eyes focusing on something behind Ryan, and he went over to grab it. Ryan turned and saw him clutching a light grey vest, the same shade as Ryan’s hat and slacks, so he let Chad put it on him. “You should wear that for the dinner or whatever.”

 

Ryan looked at himself in the mirror, and really, Chad was right. “Okay, but only if you promise sex afterwards,” he teased.

 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Chad promised.

 

There was a knock on the door to Ryan’s room, and he recognised it as his mom’s special knock, something only a momma’s boy would even have, so he left the closet and called, “Come on in, Mom!”

 

She opened the door and smiled at him. “Vance wanted me to tell you that dinner’s ready in five. Oh, Ducky, you look dashing!” she praised, and Ryan dipped his head in proud embarrassment. His mom didn’t say anything, simply folded up a pastel yellow handkerchief and tucked it into the breast pocket of his vest, then gave Chad a soft, approving smile. “Come on,” she gestured for them to come with her, “I think you should introduce Chad to your father.”

 

Ryan pouted, but gave in easily. He’d known this was coming, but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to it.

 

***

 

Chad followed Ryan and Mrs. Evans down to their huge dining room, and Mr. Evans met them all at the door. He looked over the three, giving Mrs. Evans a meaningful look, and she kissed Ryan’s cheek and went towards the table, hovering close in case she was needed. Ryan shook his head minutely to Chad’s questioning gaze.

 

“Ryan,” Mr. Evans started, looking hard at his son, and straightening his fedora, “I thought I told you to bring a _date_ , not one of your little… _acquaintances_.” Chad noticed that he practically spat out the last word, as though it was bitter and uncivilised.

 

Ryan swallowed audibly, “Uh, Dad…” Ryan bit his lower lip momentarily before continuing, “This… uhm, this _is_ my date.”

 

They both waited for Mr. Evans to respond in any way- speech, movement, _something_ \- but he just stood there, staring coldly at his son. His eyes finally flicked over to Chad, then back to Ryan, and he said, low and flat, “Are you trying to embarrass me?”

 

Chad was confused, but the way Ryan’s father looked at him rubbed him the wrong way, so he kept his eyes glued to the floor in front of him and didn’t say a word. Last summer, when he’d worked at Lava Springs, Mr. Evans hadn’t been like this. Sure, he never really acknowledged Chad’s presence, and when he did it seemed to be with forced politeness. And now that Chad could practically _feel_ the rich man’s hard, intense glare, he didn’t dare look up at him.

 

“No, Dad, I-” Ryan tried, but was cut off abruptly.

 

“You will sit at the table and behave yourself, we’ll talk later about… _this_ ,” and with that, Mr. Evans turned and stalked away, plastering a smile on his face as he met the guests.

 

“Sorry,” Ryan murmured to him as they walked to the table. Ryan sat next to his mom, subdued and... guilty? Chad sat next to him, rubbing a hand gently over Ryan’s thigh under the table, earning him a melancholy smile from his usually sparkling boyfriend.

 

Their drinks came first, and Chad thought it felt more like a fancy restaurant than a family dinner, but he kept quiet. He watched Ryan play with his straw, stirring the ice around in his tea. Chad was worried about him, but again, he kept quiet. Their food came in after what felt like _hours_ , though Chad knew it couldn’t have been more than ten, fifteen minutes. They were having a roast, with a side of scalloped potatoes and a fresh garden salad- one of Ryan’s favorites. Yet Chad watched and ate as Ryan did nothing but push the food around his plate.

 

Okay, now he was definitely worried. “That salad’s just begging to be eaten, babe,” Chad tried, smiling for Ryan.

 

“Not hungry,” Ryan answered, flashing a half-smile at Chad. Okay, fine, maybe Ryan would eat something before the plates were cleared. Chad glanced up as Mrs. Evans whispered something in Ryan’s ear, and saw Ryan shake his head in response. The plates were cleared away within twenty minutes.

 

Ryan still hadn’t eaten a bite.

 

Chad listened to Mr. Evans talk up a storm, praising Sharpay with almost every sentence, and he noticed that he avoided the topic of Ryan like the plague. Mrs. Evans seemed to be giving her son space, but at least she had the decency to not engage in any other conversation, simply joining her son in polite, quiet detachment.

 

Chad had to do something, he had to get Ryan to eat. It had taken lots of alone time, and lots of trust building for Ryan to tell him, but once he’d found out… Chad shuddered at the thought of it. Apparently, when Ryan was younger, he had problems with food. It wasn’t that he was picky, but sometimes he simply wouldn’t eat. He was a skinny child, always had been, and his father didn’t even acknowledge that he had a problem, it was his mother who tried to coax him to eat everyday. Chad guessed that was part of what made their bond as strong as it was.

 

When Ryan was twelve, and realised he was gay, the problem got worse. Sharpay was involved now, and she did everything she could think of to get him to eat, but sometimes he just felt so out of place and _awful_ that he didn’t eat for days. In sophomore year he’d gone to the hospital because of malnourishment while his parents were away on a business trip. His mother rushed back to comfort him, but his father stayed away, far overseas.

 

That became routine, Ryan being hospitalized multiple times throughout sophomore and the beginning of junior year. And then he and Chad had gotten together, and just like that, Ryan was eating again. True, he still had his moments, but it seemed a lot less frequent than before. So now, at the dinner table, surrounded by Evanses, Chad was determined to get some food into his beloved theater boy.

 

Dessert came out, really fancy cheesecake-looking stuff, and Ryan didn’t even pick up his fork. Chad glanced around, making sure everyone was focused on Sharpay’s outfit and/or Mr. Evans’ _riveting_ (sarcastically, of course) story about how his daughter so humbly gave up the Star Dazzle award last summer. He leaned in close to Ryan and murmured, “If you don’t eat, you don’t get to fuck me tonight.”

 

Ryan smiled sheepishly, but whispered back, “I don’t think I’m in the mood anyways, sorry.”

 

Chad shook his head but pressed on, “You need to eat something, Ryan, I’m worried about you.” But Ryan didn’t even turn to face him this time, just stared blankly at his desert. Okay, so it was time for drastic measures. “Ryan, you’re going to eat your dessert, or else.”

 

Ryan glanced at him, looking horribly guilty and almost scared, which make Chad’s heart ache a little. “Or… Or else what?” he asked quietly.

 

Chad grinned and murmured, “Or else I’ll sic the tickle monster on you.” Ryan’s eyes got huge, and he shook his head minutely, but he still wasn’t eating, so… “Fine, you asked for it.” He slid a hand up under Ryan’s shirt, low enough so it was still hidden under the table, and lightly tickled his side, just above his hip. Ryan squirmed under his touch, but also leaned into it, so Chad turned and used both hands, tickling harder, watching Ryan squirm and giggle.

 

“S-stop!” he gasped quietly, but pulled Chad closer, not letting him stop.

 

“Then you better eat something!” Chad whispered back.

 

Ryan writhed in his grip, taking a large bite of cheesecake, swallowing it down before he laughed too hard to do so. “There, happy now?” he giggled, taking another, smaller bite. Chad smirked and brushed his lips along Ryan’s jaw line, having forgotten that they were at a dinner table, that they were surrounded by Evanses. Ryan was still laughing, and Chad smirked as he moved to Ryan’s best tickle-spot: his ribs. Ryan practically snorted, he was laughing so hard. Without thinking, he burst, “Daddy, stop!”

 

They both froze, suddenly realising what they were actually doing. _Shit_. Chad moved away from Ryan and stared down at his plate, face flushing with guilt and embarrassment. He watched Ryan straighten his shirt and vest out of the corner of his eye.

 

Mr. Evans rose up, silent, the rest of the table watching in stunned silence. He walked over to Chad and Ryan, leaned in between them, and said in a low, threatening voice, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, young man. As for _you_ … We’ll talk about this later, but right now, you will go to your room and wait for me up there.”

 

Ryan swallowed thickly and tried quietly, “Dad, I-”

 

“I told you to not embarrass me, so you do _this_! I will not have you talking back as well.” Ryan stared at him for a moment, eyes hard and cold. Then he stood up so abruptly that his chair fell over and stalked out of the room. Chad jumped up and followed him, hearing Mr. Evans bark, “Stay the hell away from my son!” but he didn’t listen. Ryan was in trouble.

 

Because of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE AGAIN  
> BECAUSE SHIT GOES DOWN, LET ME TELL YA  
> I'M SORRY OOPS
> 
> also, censor/trigger warning:  
> Ryan throws up and then kisses Chad right after  
> so if that disgusts you then watch out  
> sorry

Ryan climbed into his car, barely glancing up as Chad followed suit without a word. He shoved the key into the ignition and drove away, heart in his throat, mouth dry, and stomach churning. This is exactly why he didn’t want to eat when he was like this. He drove out of Albuquerque, through some tiny mountains, or maybe they were just rocky hills, up onto a plateau overlooking the city. It was dark outside, and here away from the city lights the stars shone brightly in the night sky.

 

Ryan didn’t know what to say, so he simply sat and stared ot at the night sky, at the shimmering lights of the city. Chad sat quietly with him, and Ryan felt tears burn his eyes, but he blinked them away angrily. “Sorry,” he said hoarsely after a while, and Chad looked over at him. “I knew it wouldn’t be _good_ but I didn’t think…” he trailed off, feeling horribly guilty and his stomach wouldn’t stop twisting. He’d let Chad experience Vance’s stupid tantrum.

 

“Hey,” Chad said softly, gently turning Ryan’s face to look at him. “Hey, I don’t know who he thinks he is, but I love you. Nothing can change that.” Ryan looked away, he couldn’t face him after what his father had done.

 

Fuck, he was so stupid to think that Vance would do anything _but_ this. He was still holding the steering wheel, knuckles white from his steel grip. He wasn’t going to cry, there was no real reason to. He took a deep, shaky breath, and began, “Vance… he hates me.” Chad looked taken aback, then sad, pitying, and Ryan looked away again. Yeah he knew how that sounded, but it was pretty true. His father never really talked to him, only came to his events when his mother dragged him along or when Sharpay was involved.

 

“First name basis, huh?” Chad tried to joke around, lighten the mood, and Ryan appreciated it, but he couldn’t bring himself to even smile. He took another shaky breath, chewing his lower lip nervously. “Listen, Ryan, I’m sure he doesn’t _hate_ you, he’s just… it’s hard for some people to understand certain-”

 

“Chad!” he interrupted, whipping towards the other teen, “He hates me because I’m gay!” Chad blinked dumbly, but Ryan couldn’t stop the words anymore, “He hates me because of my angled hats! He hates me because I chose dance over baseball! He hates me because I have days where I can’t eat anything! He hates me because he found out I was taking belly-dancing classes! He hates me because I’m dating a _black man_!” his voice cracked horribly at the end, and he broke into tears, opening his door and practically throwing himself out the car. And he threw up.

 

Chad jumped out of the car and hurried around the hood, wrapping Ryan in a tight hug. Ryan buried his face into Chad’s neck, letting him just hold him there in the calm night air. He gasped for breath, the incessant tears only frustrating him more. He shouldn’t be crying, what the hell was wrong with him anyways? He pulled back and pressed a kiss hard to Chad’s mouth, not even processing the fact that his mouth probably tasted disgusting.

 

Chad made a quiet noise as he opened his mouth for him. Ryan wasn’t thinking, he just needed to be close to Chad, needed to feel whole again. He spun them around and shoved Chad up against the side of the car, tears still falling from his eyes. He was kissing him so hard he could barely breathe, but Chad went with it more hesitant than ever before. Ryan moaned into his mouth, rubbing his body against Chad’s. “Fuck, I need you so bad,” he murmured, just wanting to feel good again.

 

Ryan sank to his knees and undid Chad’s slacks, shoving the material out of the way and dragging his tongue up the length of his cock, coaxing him into arousal. Chad sharply inhaled, pressing against the car and saying shakily, “A-are you sure this is- hnng, w-what you want?”

 

Ryan was breathing heavily, but he _wasn’t_ crying, he just needed… “ _Fuck_ ,” he gasped, “Pull my hair, _please_!” Chad remained where he was, hands pressed flat against the car. Ryan pulled away and whimpered, “Please, Chad, I fucking need you to…” then broke off, because his throat suddenly closed. He wrapped his lips around the head of Chad’s dick, teasing it with his tongue. He heard Chad gasp so he went deeper, bobbing his head back and forth, working his throat open.

 

It felt good, but he needed more, needed… Chad gently ran his fingers through Ryan’s hair, gently nudging him away, so he pulled back with a deep sob. Chad sank down to his eye-level, caressing his face with one hand, tucking himself away with the other, and said softly, “I love you so fucking much! You don’t need to do anything for me, I just-” but Ryan let out another loud sob, so Chad just pulled him onto his lap, hugging him tightly and just cradling him, rocking slowly side to side.

 

Ryan clung to him, he felt so broken, and he knew that all of the stress and problems over the years had just built up way too much and they were finally spilling over. He cried in Chad’s arms for a while, and when he tired himself out, he must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, he opened his eyes to the bright morning sun glaring down on them. Chad was curled around around him, asleep as well. Ryan gently dug around in his pocket and took out his cell phone.

 

“ _Ryan! where r u? mom and dad are fighting, everyone left. im worried please come home._ ” it was from Sharpay, and the timestamp said 11:48 pm.

 

He shakily typed an answer, “ _I’m fine. Chad’s with me at the Shining Crystal. I’m going to stay away for awhile, sorry._ ” He hit send before he could decide against it, then sent a message to his mother as well, “ _Mom, I’m going to stay at Chad’s for a few days, until Vance leaves again. I can’t see him right now, I’m sorry for everything._ ”

 

His mom replied immediately, “ _Oh, Ducky! You don’t have to apologize for anything, I love you more than you could ever know! Come home soon, I’ll talk to your father._ ” He sighed and curled back up to Chad, but that woke him up, and he made a cute little snort-grunt, that small waking-up noise that certain people made.

 

“Sorry,” Ryan murmured, not able to help himself, moving off of him. Chad rubbed his eyes and stretched. Ryan’s stomach growled softly, and he looked away, slightly embarrassed.

 

Chad looked at him, concern filling his brown eyes. “Ryan, I’ve told you, you don’t need to say you’re sorry.”

 

Ryan stood stiffly, his legs a bit wobbly. He shook his head and walked around the car, stumbling into the passenger’s seat. He tossed Chad the keys and said quietly, “Can we go to your house?”

 

Chad nodded and started driving. Ryan closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, because holy shit he was so stressed out. He didn’t notice when the car slowed to a stop, Chad gently covering his hand. “Babe,” Chad murmured, and Ryan opened his eyes, looking over at him. “Babe, let’s go upstairs, we can… we can get you some rest.”

 

Ryan’s heart was in his throat, and he hated the way Chad’s voice was filled with concern, like Ryan was broken. He simply nodded, letting Chad carry him into the house, and he was out before they made it through the front door.

 

***

 

The rest of the weekend passed slowly, Ryan refused to leave Chad’s bedroom, and relying of Chad to bring him food and give him piggy-back rides to the restroom every once in awhile. His feeling of emptiness and neglect turned to anger over the 24 hours that was Sunday, and it was all Chad could do to try to make him feel at home.

 

Ryan did end up going to school on Monday, but only after Chad practically begged him to. Ryan was grumpy the whole week, snapping at those who stumbled during practice for the musical, throwing passive-aggressive tantrums when he didn’t get his way. And then there was prom.

 

As much as Chad loved Ryan and wanted to be there for him, he was still terrified of coming out, and Ryan was sort of pushing him away anyways. Ryan ditched him during lunch, sneaking out to a fancy diner without him, so naturally Chad spent lunch moping next to Taylor. “What do I do, Tay?” he asked, resting his chin heavily on his fist. “Ryan’s so upset he’s pushing me to my limit.”

 

Taylor put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Honey, if I know anything about boys, it’s that they get jealous easily,” she said in what Chad recognised as her scheming voice. “I got it!” Chad looked at her, brow furrowed in confusion, and she elaborated, “Ask me to prom! That’ll make him understand how he’s been treating you!”

 

Chad grimaced, “I don’t know Taylor. Are you sure it’ll work?” He didn’t want to put Ryan through any more stress than he’d already been forced through. On the other hand, if it made Ryan love him again…

 

“Chad, who’s always been the smartest out of us two?”

 

He grinned, “You.” Okay, operation get Ryan to fall back in love was a go.

 

“Just make sure you ask me in the most public way you can think of, to really drive it home, you know?” Taylor added, and Chad groaned because this just got much more complicated.


	7. Chapter 7

Chad fucking Danforth just asked  _ Taylor _ to prom in front of the whole school a week after that awful weekend. Ryan’s jaw dropped in shock. Okay, so maybe he’d been difficult lately, but that was no fucking excuse for Chad to go ask his ex- _ girlfriend _ to prom. Ryan narrowed his eyes and shook his head, disappointed that Chad was too fucking closeted to ask his actual boyfriend. 

 

That night he was harder on everyone during dance practice that ever before. The next thing he knew Gabriella left, and then the whole god damned musical was shot to hell.  _ Fucking shit ass… Fuck _ ! He finally decided to go home, because Vance was away on another business trip. He followed Sharpay home and immediately locked himself in his room. 

 

He flopped face-down onto his bed, mind filling with thoughts of Chad and all of the stupid things he’d been doing lately. Okay, so maybe Chad gave the best hugs, and maybe he was a great kisser. So what if Chad’s mouth worked wonders and so what if Chad’s tongue could do things most men only dreamed about. And so what if he sucked Ryan off whenever he wanted it and let Ryan do the same for him and where the hell was Ryan going with this?

 

He pressed his hips down against the bed, and sweet Jesus he was hard. Who knew a week of sexual tension could relieve itself by rutting against a fucking mattress? He moaned and slipped a hand between him and the bed, cupping himself and thrusting, biting down on the pillows because he couldn’t stop imagining what fucking Chad would feel like. He slid his hand into his slacks and started jerking himself off, letting his hips set the pace.

 

God he wanted to show Chad his place, fuck him silly until he submitted again. He swiped his thumb over the head of his hard cock and shivered, gasping out in pleasure, “ _ Fuck _ !” He sped up, imagining what noises Chad would make if he was fucking  _ him _ instead of his own hand, picturing what Chad would look like sprawled out under him…

 

“ _ God fucking damn it _ !” he gasped as he came into his hand. He hated this, he hated his own house, he hated his father, he hated his fucking life, and he was starting to hate Chad.

 

The next day he asked Kelsi to prom. At least they could go as gay-best-friends.

 

***

 

The night of the musical was here, and Ryan was scrambling around backstage, fixing everything before the reps for Juilliard could witness any mistakes. It was the most freeing night he’d had in over a month. Sharpay was to play Gabriella, Jimmy Zara would be Troy, and Tiara Gold would be Sharpay, it was all very confusing, and got even more so when Troy and Gabriella showed up. 

 

Okay, okay, breathe, Ryan,  _ breathe _ . He closed his eyes and took a few deep yoga-breaths just before he went onstage. He felt more alive than he had in a long time dancing around onstage, executing perfect choreography among his show-girls. The song comforted him,  _ I Want it All _ was what Kelsi had named it, and it basically just said how he wanted to go to New York, become famous, which at this point in time was all he wanted. He wanted to leave East High and Albuquerque behind, leave Chad behind.

 

Troy and Gabriella showed up at the last second, of course, and saved the grand finale, and even though Sharpay was upset and Chad was bouncing around at the sight of his “brother” Ryan had to let himself go with the flow. He was good at acting, and with any luck he’d get the Juilliard scholarship and leave Albuquerque and all of it’s faults behind. The curtains closed as they were all dancing and hugging on the balcony, and after a little while they all went off to change for the final scene: graduation.

 

Ryan saw Chad glance at him as he was stripping out of his clothes so he could dress formal under his robe, but he turned away stubbornly. If there was one thing Ryan was good at besides theater, it was being passive agressive. 

 

Ryan started to lead everyone to the spot just behind the curtain so they would be ready to walk on, but then Chad stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He sighed, annoyed, and turned to face him. “Hey, about… us,” Chad began awkwardly, and Ryan’s heart twisted with how pitiful he looked, but he kept his gaze cold and uninviting. Chad seemed to lose his nerve, or maybe he just finally got that Ryan was done with his manipulative bullshit. Either way, he stopped talking and fell back among the people heading up to the stage.

 

Ryan spun around, plastered a show-smile onto his face and strode onstage, acting happy and content despite his ice-cold emptiness.

 

***

 

Chad felt his chest tighten and his stomach twist when Ryan turned that rejecting, cold expression to him. He knew that look. It was the same look he gave the people at school who called him “faggot”, the same look he gave teachers who said he couldn’t make everything about theater. Blue eyes shooting daggers, lips set in a hard line, jaw clenched.

 

He watched Ryan turn and leave before he could manage to say anything. He let the others push past him, wash over his line of sight until Ryan’s cap disappeared among the sea of red and white. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, and then, without thinking, he turned and ran. He didn’t know where, didn’t think about it, he just let his feet carry him away from the stage, away from the theater.

 

He ran until he couldn’t run anymore, falling forward, hands resting heavily on his knees, sweat beading on his hairline. He gasped for breath, but damn it, he  _ wasn’t  _ crying. He looked up to try to clear the tears that had started to blur his vision, and saw that he was in the gym. He laughed through his sobs because the fact that he came here of all places was too predictable.

 

There was a rack of basketballs by the wall, so he went and grabbed one with shaky hands, bouncing it a couple of times. He briskly wiped the tears from his face and threw the ball at the hoop, huffing ot a breath when it bounced off of the metal rim. He jogged over and grabbed it, then simply continued, clearing his mind the only way he knew how- basketball.

 

He centered himself with the rubber surface of the ball, the hollow sound as he dribbled through the empty gym. He shot at the basket over and over, missing every time, and even though he knew exactly why, he kept trying. Troy must have walked in at some point because his voice suddenly echoed throughout the gym, “He goes up for the shot and it’s good!” Chad smirked, noticing that Troy was using an announcer voice. “East High victory for the record books!”

 

Chad retrieved the ball and smiled sadly at Troy. This was it, he finally realised that he and Troy were leaving. He would probably never see East High again after graduation. After this Sunday, Ryan would be gone, off to Juilliard which Chad was sure he’d get into. They’d never see each other again.

 

Chad collapsed onto his bed as soon as he got home that night, eventually just falling asleep, not caring about food or showering, and definitely not looking forward to graduation in a few days.

 

***

 

Graduation day wasn’t as bad as Ryan expected. He’d thought a lot about everything and maybe he’d let Chad off the hook this time. After all, the past few weeks had been stressful for both of them, it wasn’t Chad’s fault that he didn’t want to shout out his sexual orientation from the rooftops. 

 

He brought the basketball with him, the one that Chad had thrown him on the night of the after party thrown for the basketball championship. Chad’s words were still scrawled on it in his messy handwriting, and Ryan looked down at it with a half-smile. Chad might be an ass, but he was also kind and did his best, and Ryan loved him for that.

 

Troy gave his speech and Ryan had to admit, it was pretty nice. He sat quietly next to Zeke, the basketball under his chair, and listened to Troy’s amazing voice, “East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo,” he glanced at the row of teachers, “and define ourselves as  _ we _ choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée,” he smiled at Zeke who shrugged modestly. “And the brainiac can break down on the dance floor,” he paused as Martha stood to demonstrate. “It's a place where one person… if it's the right person… changes us all. East High is having friends that we'll keep for the rest of our lives. And I guess that means we really are all in this together. Because once a Wildcat…  _ always _ a Wildcat.”

 

Ryan grinned and clapped along with the rest of the audience, giving Zeke a little peck on the cheek good-naturedly. Apparently he and Sharpay had gotten together in the last week of school, and if Zeke ever became an Evans, Ryan wanted to be the first- well,  _ second _ \- person to welcome him into the family.

 

They all jumped up and tossed their caps into the air, and Ryan watched the red and white caps twirl around in the brilliant sun before descending back to the beautiful green grass. He smiled brightly, picked up the ball and wandered around, looking for Chad. People called to him but he kept waving them off as politely as he could, he had to find Chad, to let him know that they were fine. He had to know that they would be fine with the long-distance thing, that everything would turn out for the better.

 

Suddenly, a few people moved away and there was Chad, unmistakable because of that thick, curly hair. He was facing away from Ryan, but that didn’t matter, he was there and completely open for Ryan to talk to. Ryan was close enough to hear the conversation Chad was in the middle of, Chad’s voice saying in such a voice where one could hear the smirk, “Nah, man, I ain’t gay.”

 

Ryan stopped dead. Maybe… maybe Chad would come out in college. Maybe he was kidding. Another voice spoke up, but Ryan couldn’t see its owner from behind Chad, “I thought you had a thing for Ryan.” There was a brief pause, then the faceless voice added, “Thought that little faggot was turning you, man.”

 

Chad laughed, and it sounded real. “Nah, man! I’d never go for that twink even if I  _ was _ homo.”

 

Ryan stopped listening, he looked down at the basketball in his hands and felt his eyes burn from tears. Of course. He’d let himself have hope, let himself fall in love with Chad and he was too hurt to deny it anymore. Chad wasn’t just a fling, he was something special, or so Ryan had thought. He took out a sharpie and wrote elegantly on the basketball, only two smooth words underneath Chad’s scribbled question. He walked calmly around to face Chad, handed him the ball politely, and left. 

  
He could hide the pain, he could behave normally and go on to New York, to Juilliard unfazed. He was an actor, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH SHIT SORRY  
> IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG  
> FUCK
> 
> Okay, so when this part is finished, I'll be re-writing this entire verse  
> idk i just feel like i didn't quite hit the characters?  
> well, anyways, we have a few more chapters to write before this is over
> 
> sorry for the long ass break :0

Ryan put the last book onto the shelf of his and Kelsi’s shared apartment, sitting cross-legged next to a now-empty box. It had been a little over a month since graduation and Ryan wasn’t wasting any time getting himself situated and distracted. He knew that Kelsi suspected something, but he pretended everything was fine. He didn’t want to worry her. 

 

“Ryan, I’m going to go get some groceries, do you need anything specific?” Kelsi said, peeking into the room where Ryan was setting up. 

 

He smiled and handed her his debit card, “No, but take this just in case. There’s enough on here for anything you’ll need, and knowing you, you won’t need much.” When she didn’t move take it, he stood up and walked over to her. “At least bring it with, you don’t have to even use it.”

 

She took it, hesitantly, and Ryan hugged her tightly before putting a grey-and-purple newsboy cap on her head to match her purple polo under a grey vest, plain jeans and nice shoes. Kelsi was hard to figure out, from her clothing style to her complex personality, Ryan was never sure what to expect.

 

As soon as the door shut, Ryan went to take a shower. He grabbed a pastel yellow towel from the cupboard and put it on the hook next to the shower for when he got out. He was half-way through washing his hair when he heard his phone ring, and sighed because he could hardly answer now. He let it ring; he could always call back later. He rinsed out his hair and stood in the shower, letting the water rain down on him, blankly staring at the tile in front of him. What was he doing here? He’d blown it with Chad, and now he was acting every day, hiding himself from everyone he interacted with.

 

He shook his head, sending water droplets spraying to either side of him. He had to stop thinking about that, Chad was the one who’d been an asshole and… broken his heart. Ryan could lie to everyone else, but he could never lie to himself, it just wasn’t who he was. Yeah, he’d loved Chad- he still did love him, but he could hardly do anything about it now. He turned off the water and left the bathroom, towel around his waist and phone in his hand.

 

He checked his messages and saw that Sharpay had been the one that had called him. He bit his lower lip in consideration of just making her call him again, but sighed and pressed call on her name, holding the cell to his ear with his shoulder as he looked around for a cute lounging outfit. “Ryan!” his sister exploded into his ear, making him jump and drop the phone.

 

“Yeah?” he asked timidly, holding the phone back up to his ear. His sister could be a bit excitable sometimes, but he did his very best to humour her.

 

“I can’t believe you just dropped me!” He rolled his eyes, even though he knew Sharpay couldn’t see, which in all actual reality was probably better. “Listen, I called because Zeke told me that Troy told  _ him _ that he thought something was up because he couldn’t get a response or anything usefull out of any interaction they had so he called some people back here in Albuquerque that he knew had stayed behind after graduation and they confirmed that Chad has been acting weird lately.” Ryan paused, one foot in a pair of pastel blue sweatpants. 

 

“Why the hell would I care about him?” Ryan couldn’t tell her about how broken he’d been after graduation, even if they  _ were _ twins. That was another thing- ever since Ryan moved to New York for school, Sharpay had been slowly distancing herself, only really calling him if she needed or wanted him for something, in short he sure didn’t feel like her twin.

 

“Oh, you’re not fooling anyone, Ryan!” she insisted, then paused to indicate it was Ryan’s turn to defend himself- which he didn’t do. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of saying anything because he knew that if he denied it she’d only take that as proof that she was right, and if he went with it then he’d be  _ admitting _ she was right, and god knew he couldn’t do that. It would make it real, and as much as he knew it was true he didn’t want to make it real. “I’m not going to have this conversation with myself, Ry, you have to admit that you still love him.”

 

There was a sudden crash sounding from the kitchen, and Ryan squeezed his eyes shut, thankful for the distraction but hoping nothing too important was broken. “Look, Shar, I have to go, Mungojerrie just knocked something over.”

 

“Then train him to not jump on the counters,” Sharpay said, like it was painstakingly obvious. “Rumpleteazer does what I say, and she gets along great with Boi.” Their parents had gotten them twin Siamese kittens when Ryan moved out; it was supposed to help them keep in touch or something, not that it worked.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled as he hung up. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, rubbing his hand over his face tiredly, before heading to the kitchen. His cat was sitting there, perched delicately on the counter, a flower pot on the floor below him, dirt spilling out and the cactus that had been in it lying sadly on the floor. Ryan shook his head and used the squirt gun he kept on his person at all times to spray the Siamese from across the room, and the kitten jumped and scrambled away. 

 

He cleaned up the mess and headed into the living room area. It wasn’t a huge apartment, but it had enough space for him and Kelsi. The living room and kitchen were separated by a counter, and it had three bedrooms and two baths. They’d converted one of the bedrooms into a sort of studio so Kelsi had a place to compose and Ryan had a place to work out choreography- after all, that’s what they were in New York for.

 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer… named unoriginally after the mischievous twins in Cats: the Musical, and really, what did Ryan expect from his parents? The two kittens were bought from a popular breeder, one of the best in the business, and they were lilac points- on the more rare end of the Siamese scale, and Mungojerrie sure acted like he knew it.

 

Ryan flopped down on the couch and turned on Rent, and as the first notes of “525,600 Minutes” started up, Mungojerrie clambered onto his lap, his cream kitten-fluff soft against Ryan’s bare stomach, and he gently ran his fingers over the Siamese’s tiny soft head. Ryan felt numb, broken, his limbs were tired and weak, but he told himself he didn’t care. He thrust himself into the world of Rent, choreographing a new dance sequence for Angel’s “Today 4 U” for a school show. He was doing this one without Kelsi, as the songs were already written, but the tiny pianist was doing a show of her own, and they always saw each other’s shows.

 

Kelsi walked in around “La Vie Boheme” and immediately started singing along. “Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, creation, vacation,” she sang, setting the groceries on the counter.

 

Ryan chuckled and sang back, “Mucho masterbation,” as he srugged, standing up. They started dancing around each other, Mungojerrie trotting around them as well. It was good to let go and just dance, like he and Sharpay used to do, and besides, he did have to choreograph the whole show for school, so why not. He smiled and sang along with the movie again, “In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner… Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she ain't never studied.”

 

Kelsi added on the next part, “And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days.”

 

“And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song,” he paused as Roger played a solo, then cut in, “...That doesn't remind us of ‘Musetta's Waltz’!”

 

“Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.”

 

“And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist- including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:”

 

Ryan joined in as they sang, "’Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS’!" When the song was over, they laughed and headed to the kitchen to put the food away. “So how much did you spend, my little money-bug?” he asked playfully as he grabbed a loaf of bread. 

 

Kelsi rolled her eyes and helped him, taking a bag of coffee out of the plastic bag, “I only used like five dollars from your card.” They were quiet for a moment, then Ryan went to put away the catfood, and Kelsi stopped him, “Wait, ‘money-bug’? What the fuck, Ry?”

 

Ryan chuckled, “Sorry, I may have developed a habit of giving silly pet-names to everyone I’m close to. Blame the cat.” 

 

Kelsi laughed then looked at him seriously and hugged him tightly. “I love you, Ryan. You can tell me anything, you know that right?”

 

“Yeah, right,” he said quietly.

 

***

 

Ryan was filled with emotions that he’d thought he’d only have to play on stage. He didn’t even know some of these things actually happened, like he’d wake up in the middle of the night, face wet with tears, muscles sore. He usually ate, even when he felt sick, because he couldn’t worry Kelsi like that, even if he did throw up sometimes. He needed it to end, he needed it to stop hurting. He buried himself in his work, turned his pain into beautiful choreography.

 

He got home one night after working late in one of the dance studios at Juilliard, and without thinking he changed his clothes, fed the cat, told Kelsi he was going out and got the same news from her, and left. He needed to get over that fucking basketball boy. He didn’t think about anything, just focussed on deep breathing. He found himself at a club, thankfully a gay club, which meant he could get in at only eighteen years old- well, he glanced at his watch, now nineteen. Happy fucking birthday. He walked in and sat down, not that he was going to drink tonight, mainly because he probably couldn’t get his hands on anything alcoholic without a fake ID.

 

A young man walked over to him and slid into the place next to Ryan. “You look like you could use a drink,” he said, placing a twenty on the bar and holding up two fingers. “I’m Mark Cohen by the way,” the man smiled, handing Ryan a glass. 

 

“Like from Rent?” Ryan chuckled.

 

“Right.”

 

“Ryan,” he added, sniffing the drink. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was definitely strong, very strong. He chuckled, “I look that bad, huh?” Well, so much for not drinking. He downed the drink, coughing a little as it burned his throat. “I’m more of a wine guy, though, Mark,” he hinted. Mark grinned and ordered him a nice Pinot Noir, which Ryan took and sipped, melting under its rich flavour. “Much better.”

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, may I film you a bit for a project? I’m going to Juilliard and we’re supposed to make a short about someone’s life, and-”

 

Ryan cut him off, “Honey, I’d be flattered.”

 

They drank, and talked, and drank, and danced, giving Ryan a chance to show off his moves, which were probably God-awful with the amount of alcohol in his system. Mark kept whipping out his old-school film camera and pointing it at Ryan. At some point they ended up leaving together, and Ryan drunkenly led him back to the apartment, telling him the story of the Midsummer’s Night Talent show just before his senior year, gesturing wildly. Mark remained calm, and Ryan focused on his smooth movements to steady his own flailing ones.

 

Mark practically carried him up the steps to his apartment, and when Ryan tried to unlock the door, he couldn’t get the key in the hole. He tried a couple of times, giggling, and decided to try and steady himself, leaning the top of his head on the door and resting his forearms against his hips. Which only succeeded in making him drop the key, and when he stooped down to retrieve it, he fell over, laughing. Mark took his key and unlocked the door for him, laughing along with him. 

 

Ryan gasped, half-crawling, half-dragging himself into the apartment, yelping, “My cat’ll get out!” Mungojerrie, as it turned out, was shut-up in Kelsi’s room, because of course she suspected what was going to happen that night. “Nevermind,” Ryan giggled, stumbling into his room after making sure, and struggling to undress, Mark coming up behind him to help. God this felt good, it’d been so long since…  _ oh yes _ .

 

Mark’s hands were steady as he slowly unfastened Ryan’s belt, popped the button of his jeans, unzipped his fly. Ryan melted back against him, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding when he felt the mouth on his neck. “Fuck, yes,” Ryan heard himself murmur. The next thing he knew, he was naked on the bed, Mark pinning him down with a playful smile, in an equal state of undress.

 

It was hot in the room, or at least Ryan thought so, as open-mouthed kisses were trailed over his chest and stomach. The tongue massaged his nipples, the teeth gently nibbled them. The air was thick in the room, or at least Ryan thought so, as the mouth moved down, biting gently at his midriff. Mark spun him around, and Ryan gasped out, “Bedside table! Top drawer!” Then he heard the familiar sound of a condom being unwrapped.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!  
> also, sorry for the short chapter, it just seemed like a good place to end??  
> idk let me know what you think!

Ryan woke up with a splitting headache and an angry attitude towards the sun for being so fucking bright. Mark was his savior, pulling the blinds shut and handing him a steaming cup of coffee. “Sorry,” the other man said, “Should’ve shut those earlier.”

 

He drank his coffee fast, burning his mouth but not really caring. It felt good to relieve the unresolved sexual frustration after months, but it had somehow left him feeling hollow. Before, it had felt like his heart had been shattered, a cracked and tattered clock that still ticked but sometimes got stuck on the same second. Now it was as if someone had simply removed the gears. It didn’t hurt anymore, but it didn’t even try to tick.

 

Mark followed him out of the room,  then headed to the bathroom. “I’m going to go take a shower, is that alright?” Ryan nodded, giving a pleasant smile that didn’t hold much emotion, though he tried to feel it. 

 

“I’m pathetic,” he chuckled humorlessly to himself after Mark had disappeared into the bathroom. Yup, he was turning into  _ that _ kind of person- the exact type of person he’d been trying so hard not to become. Well, at least he wasn’t blaring to Taylor Swift and gorging himself on ice cream while crying his eyes out to his best friend. 

 

Yet.

 

***

 

Mark was a good friend, and an amazing lover. He courted Ryan like he’d never been courted before, and not for nothing but he’d gotten his fair share of love letters back in high school- Sharpay wasn’t the only one with boys on her tail. But none of that even compared to his life now. He woke up to roses, received sickeningly sweet love letters with reservations for two at the fanciest places in New York attached, even a batch of cookies that were almost as good as Zeke’s. 

 

Gabriella sent out a mass email one day telling everyone that she was organising a five-way video chat the following week. Ryan sighed and counted everyone off: Troy and Gabriella would be together, so would Shar and Zeke no doubt, Taylor, Chad, and she probably figured he would be with Kelsi. Ryan replied that he likely would be too busy, but everyone made him promise he’d at least try to make it.

 

Ryan shut his laptop and texted Mark. “ _ You  wanna meet up and get some filming done for your project? _ ” 

 

Ge got a reply immediately. “ _ Totally! I still need to cover some of the interview, so wear something cute! _ ”

 

Ryan smiled and went to change his clothes. After much deliberation he finally went with a muted navy button up, designer skinny jeans, and a chestnut homberg with a band to match his shirt, and shoes and belt that matched his hat. He also threw in a pastel yellow undershirt for a pop of colour- plus it was his favorite colour so why the fuck not?

 

He kissed the top of Mungojerrie’s head, grabbed his keys and satchel filled with his work, and left. As the elevator was taking him down to the first floor, he texted Mark again. “ _ I’ll meet you at the coffee shop? _ ”

 

“ _ The one you like so much with the amazing bagels? Sure, I’ll be right there! _ ” Ryan smiled at his phone and stepped out of the building. He had a lot of time to think on the way there, and since he was meeting up with Mark, his mind went to how lucky he was to know the guy. He practically doated on the Evans twin, leaving amazing home made food in his locker(after finally just leaving a cooler in there which Mark refreshed everyday), making him mixtapes, taking him out to dinner, even liking sushi when Ryan was usually the only one who did. He was a couple of years older than Ryan, and an overachiever when it came to school or work. He was basically everything Chad wasn’t.

 

Maybe it was the fact that Gabriella had emailed him about a group video chat, or maybe it was realising that he was dating Mark, but his thoughts stuck on Chad, what he’d had with Chad, what he’d been able to give Chad, how much they’d loved each other. Chad had given Ryan his virginity- he remembered Chad telling him how he’d only ever dry-humped or made out with girls before. Ryan hadn’t been able to offer the same to Chad, but his practice had allowed him to make Chad’ first time perfect, even though his first time was a blow-job. 

 

Ryan thought back to his first time. The time in junior year in his dressing room with Troy. He shook his head in amusement at his past self, indecisive, perpetually horny. He thought off all of the one-nighters he’d had with “secret admirers” who’d given him experience for more important matters- which at the time had been wooing Chad. In fact, ever since Chad, Ryan had been abstinent until Mark, and even then they were hardly sexually active. Nothing like it had been with Chad. 

 

“Ryan!” it was Mark’s voice, calm as always, yet filled with that eager-to-please quality he constantly had. “I ordered you a sesame seed while I was waiting.” Of course he did. Ryan’s favorite, as always. He smiled as he sat down and took the bagel, warmly toasted. 

 

“Thanks Cohen. Did you get the-” but he was cut off by the little white ceramic bowl that was nudged towards him, alfalfa sprouts ready for his taking. “Thanks,” he chuckled. 

 

“Okay,” Mark began, leaning forward, “Did you bring your choreography book?”

 

“Course.” Ryan pulled the notebook from his bag, flipping open to his current project- Rent. “So I was thinking about having Mark be clumsy in Tango: Maureen, while Joanne is really good and almost aggressive.” He looked up from his books to see Mark- his Mark, not Rent Mark- taking out his camera. “Now? I haven’t eaten yet!”

 

Mark chuckled, “No, Ry, I just need some filler scenes. Like you working on choreography in your favorite cafe eating brunch. I’ll voice it over later with your interview, don’t worry. Now work! Pretend I’m not here!”

 

“I’ll try,” he sighed, turning his attention to his choreography, all scribbled words and stick-men, took out a pencil and got to work. He ignored the obvious camera pointed at his face and just lost himself in scribbling down more steps- until he got stuck. He had no clue what to do next, so he stood up- Mark’s camera following him- and acted out what he had so far, feeling out what he should do next while humming the song. He nodded in satisfaction and scribbled out the steps in his booklet without sitting, and immediately everyone in the diner applauded, so naturally Ryan bowed for them. “I’m done here, if you want to go somewhere else.”

 

Mark clicked off his camera and looked up at Ryan with honest eyes. “You sure?”

 

“Yeah, they’ll all be watching me for more, when I don’t have any to give. Not to them anyways.” 

 

*

***

*

 

“Fuck, yes, more,” the words came out as a strained gasp. Sweat shined on smooth dark skin, thick hair a tossled mess, two condom-clad cocks rubbed at each other. Chad was pathetic. Utterly pathetic. The first week after graduation he’d waited for Ryan to come back, or call him, or  _ something _ but it never happened. So Chad had finally decided to make a move. He sent Ryan texts- all of which were ignored- and tried calling him a few times but was sent to voicemail every time- all of which consisted of awkward silence because he didn’t know what to say and eventually just hung up. 

 

So he threw himself into pleasing every guy on campus. No one had ever even  _ tried _ anal with him, but it was enough to just let them have their way with him. Before Ryan he’d never gone past kissing, and ever since Ryan he couldn’t  _ stop _ going past kissing. Gay bars, parties, any place where there would be guys drunk or sober willing to fuck him senseless. 

 

And right now he was doing just that. The guy was a football player- big, muscular, drunk off his ass. The kind of guy no one would ever expect to go at it with another guy, as if it was something wrong, but Chad had just blown that theory out of the water- literally. He knew how to handle himself, so nothing bad ever happened beyond the expected light teasing. Chad didn’t know the guy’s first name, but the back of his jersey proclaimed, “PETERSON” in proud white letters. A generic name, one that was so common it was hard to remember. 

 

Chad had sucked him off, letting Peterson’s strong, aggressive hands and hips dominate him. Then they parted and caught their breath. A mere two minutes later Peterson has at him again, this time going for frotting rather than a blowie. That’s where they were now. Chad pinned under him, legs spread, Peterson’s dick rubbing hard against him. 

 

The campus slut.

 

***

 

When Gabriella sent out that stupid email about the video chat, Chad knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t show his face with what he’d been doing, he couldn’t see Ryan- but at the same time he felt like he needed to. He’d detached himself from his friends in the past few months. He barely even talked to Troy anymore, and he suspected that maybe Troy was suspicious about that, but Bolton had always been a bit clueless when it came to anything complicated so he figured he was safe.

 

It was Gabriella he should’ve been worried about after all. Taylor had gone to Yale, Troy and Gabriella to California, Zeke to a culinary school in New Mexico, Sharpay and himself had stayed in Albuquerque, and Ryan… Ryan had gone to New York with Kelsi. Fucking Evanses. He sat alone in his dorm room, and for some reason looked over at his desk- under which he kept his old friend the basketball. He’d gotten it when he was maybe four, played with it against Troy for years, carried it around constantly in high school, scribbled “ **WiLL U GO OUT WiTH Me?** ” on it with a sharpie to ask Ryan out, getting it back with the words “ **Fuck You** ” written in sharpie in neat cursive the day they graduated. 

 

He flopped down on his bed in frustrated defeat. He’d become his worst nightmare, drowning himself in sex to try to fill the gaping hole Ryan had left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN UP!  
> I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU THINK CHAD AND RYAN SHOULD MEET?  
> IT'S IMPORTANT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER AND YOU FOLKS GET TO HELP OUT!
> 
> here's a few options, feel free to suggest your own:  
> 1\. Gabriella's video chat  
> 2\. Mark's film comes into play (somehow)  
> 3\. Chad just shows up in New York  
> 4\. Ryan goes back home  
> 5\. The old Wildcats set them up  
> 6\. etc.
> 
>  
> 
> and lastly, I will resume writing on Nov. 27th, 2017  
> so please give advice for the next chapter before then!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for the insanely long wait and then coming out with a short chapter ;^;
> 
> idk you guys, school has me swamped and then I'll try to go write some moe and just get writer's block  
> I'll try my best to get the next one up within a week!

So this was New York. Chad had never been here, never thought he would, especially now. But plans change, people change. He knew he was different than he was just a year ago. Chances were so had Ryan, and God knew they weren’t good together. He shook his head,  _ forget it, Danforth, chances are you won’t even see him. New York is big. _ Yeah, New York was big. Population over eight million, area over three hundred square miles, over sixty million tourists a day, and to add to the confusion there were over forty theatres on Broadway alone.

 

There was no way he’d see Ryan, if he even wanted to, which he convinced himself that he didn’t. Besides, he was here with Sophia, his older sister, and Zoey, who was now fourteen and full of attitude as if she weren’t before. Zoey was on summer break, and since the they were only in New York for a few days, the Danforth parents allowed her to join her siblings. Sophia never let go of the spunky teenager’s hand no matter how much she protested. 

 

Chad hadn’t even wanted to come along, but he was close to dropping out of college and Sophia thought he needed a break so she dragged him along. Zoey only wanted to come because their parents were iffy on it, and this satisfied her rebellious teenage needs. Sophia had come to watch a film festival that Juilliard was sponsoring. It wasn’t at the school, he wouldn’t see Ryan.

 

They were staying in a hotel that was definitely not five-star, but it wasn’t too shitty either. One room, two kings. Chad walked into their room, East High duffle bag in hand, Sophia and Zoey directly behind him. He tossed his bag onto one of the beds and dropped down next to it. He didn’t want to be here, but a tiny part of him was glad that he was.

 

Chad didn’t sleep much that night, perhaps it was the city lights or the constant traffic, but by four a.m. he had given up on the very thought of sleep. With a heavy sigh he hauled himself out of the bed and headed off to take a shower. If he couldn’t get any shut-eye, at least he might be able to wake up a bit with a hot shower. One of the great things about hotels was the ability to take long-ass showers without running out of hot water. 

 

He let it rain down on him, pelt his tired muscles and soften his thick curly hair. After a few minutes he reached for the shampoo only to realise that he’d forgotten to bring his own and his sisters had already supplied the bathroom with their cherry blossom stuff or whatever. He heaved a sigh, taking a moment to weigh his options before jest deciding to use it, better clean and flowery than rinsed and smelly. 

 

No one really said anything when he got out, though Sophia gave him a tiny smirk. “When do we leave for the showing?” he asked, pulling on a shirt. 

 

“In about half an hour,” Sophia replied, glancing at her watch. She wasn’t one for makeup, so they didn’t have to worry about being late or anything, and both of them were already dressed and pretty much ready to go. 

 

Zoey piped up from the other side of the room, “Took you long enough to get out of there.”

 

Chad huffed a sigh but didn’t reply. It would only encourage her snarky comments. Soon enough they were out the door and heading for the first show. It was a tiny auditorium in the back of a cafe, and there were fewer people than he’d thought there would be. Oh well, that wasn’t an issue. It just meant it’d be less crowded. 

 

It was only about ten thirty or so, but this was a sort of film crawl, so it’d go all day at different places. Chad ordered a few coffees for them as they waited. The lights went down just as they took their seats- at a little table near the front- and a young woman stepped out in front of the large canvas screen, a microphone in her hand. “Hello, everyone!” she began. “My name is Jennifer Sinclair and I am a student at Juilliard. I’m studying film making, and today I’ll be showing you my short titled, “From Cattle to City” with my lovely subject Mason.”

 

She stepped away and the film began. Mason was a farm hand-turned city boy, and it was his story. He had a good life, loved tending the horses out on the range, and he’d gotten himself a job caring for the police horses here in New York. Cool little film, really.

 

They stayed for about an hour or so, just watching short films. They were all about ordinary people with interesting stories, and Chad was surprised to find himself enjoying it so much. They went on to the next place, which was more of a venue.  The very first guy didn’t catch Chad’s eye right away, but his introduction made him sit bolt upright. “My name’s Mark Cohen, and I’ve been studying filmmaking at Juilliard for two years now. I’ll be showing my film called, “Jazz Square” for you guys, featuring a young man named Ryan Evans. I hope you like it!”

 

Right there, in the screen, happier than Chad could remember him being, was his Ryan. He laughed while dancing around a water fountain as the camera followed him. He was sitting in a cute little apartment being interviewed. His voice filled the room, “I came to New York to dance. It’s always been my passion.” It cut to a scene of him scribbling out some choreography in a diner, then standing and just beginning to dance it out, bowing to the applauding audience. “I actually have a twin sister who overpowered me a lot growing up. I’m the younger one by a few minutes, but she acts like it’s a few years honestly.” 

 

Another voice broke in, “Tell me more about where you’re from.”

 

That smile again, a light laugh to go with it. “Well, Albuquerque isn’t really a booming place! Um, My family is rich, but,” he trailed off, getting suddenly serious. The scene switched to him modeling his hats as his voice went on, “My father kind of disowned me at the end of my senior year in high school, so I don’t get to enjoy that anymore.” Oh God, Chad remembered that fight. He was frozen, staring wide-eyed at the screen. 

 

“Why’s that?

 

“His only son turned out to be a faggot, and my father didn’t like that. I actually came out during dinner one night. He told my sister and I to bring dates, so I brought my boyfriend. My black boyfriend. Did I mention that he’s a huge racist? Ever since then he wouldn’t even look at me.”

 

“How did you end up in New York alone?”

 

There was a moment’s silence before he went on, “My sister was jealous that I got into Juilliard and she didn’t.” Another pause. “My boyfriend turned out to be a douche so I dropped him and came here. Oh, and honey I’m not alone. I have my best friend right here with me.” It showed him and Kelsi cooking dinner together.

 

When the film was over Chad just sat and stared blankly ahead. Fuck. Damn it. The rest of the day went by in a daze, and that night he snuck down to the lobby and called Troy for the first time in months. “Yo!”

 

“Troy, I need your help.”

 

There was silence, then, “Dude, is that you? How you been?”

 

“Troy, I know I haven’t talked to you in forever but I need some help right now.”

 

“Sure man, sorry. What’s up?”

 

Chad took a deep breath, then blurted out, “I saw a short film today about Ryan during a film festival my sisters wanted to go to and it was hosted by Juilliard and it was really nice, like we walked all over the city and-”

 

“Chad! You’re rambling. Just tell me what you need.”

 

Chad sighed, tears welling in his eyes. “Him,” he whispered, voice cracking.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NEVER BETA'ED ANYMORE  
> I HAVE TO MAKE UP SHITTY NAMES AND HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL  
> AHHH
> 
> Also, Sorry for giving y'all really short chapters, but life is kinda... rough at the moment  
> I'll keep trying to finish this up for ya!

Ryan had no plans for the night- scratch that: he had plans to do nothing. Mark was out showing their film, and Kelsi was in her room composing on her electronic keyboard with the cat. So watching musicals on his laptop while lounging on his bed shirtless was the plan for the night. That is, until Gabriella called him on skype. He sighed and answered the call. “Yes, Gabi?”

 

“Ryan! Good to see you! Listen, I might know something concerning you.” Ryan blinked. Well that was random, and cryptic. 

 

“Um, cool? You know a lot of things concerning me.” He wondered where this was going. Gabriella just stared at him, as if she was deciding whether to tell him or not, so he spoke up again, “Hey, um, I was in the middle of Grease, so if you don’t mind…”

 

“No! Ryan wait, I’ve got to tell you something-” but then someone knocked on the door. Ryan’s apartment door, not Gabriella’s. They both froze. Then Ryan got up and went to see who it was. Maybe Mark was done early and had decided to stop by.

 

When he opened the door he saw Chad. Deep brown eyes dry and red, bags underneath them, clothes in a messy array, but unmistakably Chad. “The hell do you want?” Ryan was surprised at his own low stinging voice. Oh god, why now after all this time? 

 

“I just…” Chad began but broke off, and Ryan’s heart twisted- much to his disapproval. “I- I can’t hide it anymore, I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

 

Ryan felt anger blossom inside of him. Okay, he understood now, Chad was doing this because he was a selfish prick. Ryan shoved him backwards into the hall and followed him out so Kelsi wouldn’t hear them, leaving the door cracked so he could get back in. “You know you always were that way. Full of that self pity, only thinking about yourself!” Chad backed up, eyes wide. “You never fucking think about how I feel! What do you think I’ve been doing since we split up? What do you think it means to me to have you show up outside of my door?”

 

“Ryan-”

 

“Shut the hell up!” He gave Chad another shove. “I put your shit behind me, Danforth! Now you do the same!”

 

“Ryan, I-”

 

“Leave me the fuck alone! I finally,  _ finally _ got over you, I  _ finally _ put you out of mind enough to work, and here you are! I fucking-” Chad pushed him back, giving in to the indignant anger Ryan knew so well. 

 

“Ryan listen to me!” and oh was Ryan listening. Chad had him pinned to the wall, face mere inches from Ryan’s. “I tried. I fucked more men than I can remember. I thought it had worked, as long as I kept it up I wouldn’t think of you anymore. But, fuck, I can’t. I need you, Evens, I need to be with you. I need you to love me. If you don’t, if you really feel nothing for me, please tell me now and I’ll leave. I’ll leave and you’ll never see or hear from me again.”

 

Ryan couldn’t move. Sure Chad had him pinned, but it was the words that had him stuck. Chad had… really? No, that wasn’t… really? He felt himself lunge forward and he kissed him. He’d never really been on this side of this, but it didn’t matter. God he missed this, missed this mouth, missed this solid body. He fumbled for the door before pushing it open and dragging Chad into his room. “Fuck, Chad, let me, please.”

 

They fell onto his bed and he shut his laptop just as Gabriella probably saw them. They both shed their clothes as quick as they could, and then they were on each other again. Open mouthed kisses, groping hands, muscles straining. The next thing he knew he was sucking Chad’s dick, the other man moaning and squirming under his hands. It was good, felt familiar yet new. He’d always loved this feeling, the absolute control he had over Chad, the immense trust shared in this act. He couldn’t regret this moment… 

 

…Could he?

 

***

 

Ryan woke to his cell phone rudely ringing in his ear. Hardly moving, he answered and held it to the side of his face. “Yeah?”

 

“Ryan!” the voice startled him awake. It always had, even before the owner knew how to speak. His sister. He sat up and looked around, wide-eyed. That’s when he caught sight of Chad sleeping next to him. He got out of bed, pulled some pants on, and slipped into the living room. 

 

“Yeah?” he winced, noticing how sore his throat was. 

 

“What the hell happened last night?” This morning was turning out to be chock full of surprises. 

 

“You tell me.” Mungojerrie padded in and bounced onto the couch next to him. Ryan pulled him onto his lap with his free hand and petted him. What  _ had _ happened last night? He hadn’t been drinking… how had Chad ended up in his bed along with the scent of sweat and sex?

 

“I’ve heard from some pretty reliable sources that you and Chad are back together?” Ryan was silent. What could he even say to that? Sharpay went on, “Obviously I don’t know the details, so you’re going to tell me, and that’s why I called you.”

 

“Explain,” was all he said, all he  _ could _ say.

 

“Pardon-”

 

“Explain!”

 

Silence. Then, more quietly, “Ryan, all I know is what Zeke told me. I know that a couple of nights ago Chad called Troy and told him that he needed you- or at least implied it- and then Gabriella saw Chad at your place last night through your video chat following you onto your bed. Now, knowing you, it’s odd for you to be up so late without so much as a cup of coffee, so I’m assuming he spent the night.”

 

Ryan opened his mouth to argue, but paused, going over what his sister had just said. “How did you…”

 

“Your voice. It’s a bit slow, but also has that rough undertone which tells me that you’re tired but managed to get  _ some _ sleep. Plus when you answered you seemed to be still half asleep.” When Ryan had nothing to say, she added with slight exasperation, “It’s simple deduction, Ryan! We’ve been doing it to other people since we were born!”

 

Ryan just sat there. “You deduced me.” He hesitated, then gave in, sighing, “Alright, fine. Chad’s-  _ was _ here. Last night. He came, he left, it’s done.” He ignored the double meaning, and hoped to god Sharpay would too. 

 

“So what happened? I want to know details, Ry, you know I’ll find out somehow sooner or later, so if you tell me now it’ll save us both a lot of time and effort.” He knew she was right, but he also knew that if he told her anything it would spread like wildfire. 

 

Ryan took a deep breath, then grated out clearly, “He came. He left. It’s  _ done _ .” For a moment the only sound was that of Mungojerrie purring warmly on his lap. 

 

“Ryan,” her voice was softer now, “I get it. If you ever need… You know I’m always…” A pause. A sigh, “You know my number.”

 

There was a moment of brief silence, a moment where they silently read each other through the phone. The conversation was over, and neither of them had especially negative feelings about it. They hung up at the exact same time, and Ryan tossed his phone onto the couch next to him. 

 

Yeah, he knew her number.

 

***

 

Ryan idly tapped his pencil on his notebook, staring despondently at the scene in front of him. The dancers were good, but the lead actress wasn’t portraying what Ryan had written down for them. He sighed and waved his arms to signal a cut, climbing back onto the stage. “No, no. You seem too placid. The scene is supposed to be climactic, excited. Here, you ready to help me show it, Dwayne?”

 

The muscular actor nodded, so Ryan counted them in, and continued to count aloud as a guide and he enthusiastically spun himself under the bigger man’s arm, did a few flamboyant swings, and ended in Dwayne’s arms, feet off of the ground, chests pressed together, almost kissing. Ryan was let down, and he stayed onstage to watch them work it out again. And again and again. Finally he called rehearsal to a close, grabbed his jacket and left the dancers to clean up set. He usually helped out, but today he wasn’t in the mood.

 

Everything was complicated again, his mind was back to working overtime. He was lucky he was a good actor, or he wouldn’t be able to avoid questions as to his well being. He decided to walk home, not bothering with a taxi, but he shot Kelsi a text to let her know that he was on his way. It would give him time to think about things and sort out his mind. 

 

God, what was wrong with him? His life was like a cheesy musical, a love story gone wrong. When he’d been in high school, everything made sense. He was at the top- well, technically second to the top- of the food chain, and his parents loved him. Sure he was semi-closeted so his dad wouldn’t kill him, but life was good. Then he’d fallen for Chad, and surprisingly got him. They were happy, and nothing else mattered because he knew he’d have someone who cared for him ike no one else.

 

He’d risked his father’s homophobic, racist wrath for Chad, he’d lost his family for Chad, he’d spent every possible moment doing things for Chad, and in the end he’d lost everything for Chad. No,  _ because of _ Chad. He’d practically given up until Mark. He wasn’t like Chad, he was everything sweet and kind, literally doted on Ryan, but at the same time it didn’t feel real. Ryan felt like he was constantly acting. 

 

He was dating Mark because it seemed like the thing he should do. 

  
But Chad was suddenly in town, and that one night together after months apart was better than any of the sweet, gentle nights with Mark. He  _ felt _ something for Chad, while Mark was simply the knight-in-shining-armour, the fairytale ending. Real life wasn’t a fairytale. He of all people should know that.


	12. Chapter 12

Chad had to go back home, his sisters had had their fun and the plane would be leaving in the morning. He wasn’t ready to let go of the city yet, he’d shown Ryan how he felt- or had done his best to- but if he just left again… He shook his head, frustrated and tired. What should he do? He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his older sister Sophia smiling gently at him. 

 

He wasn’t in their hotel room, at around three in the morning he decided to give up on trying to sleep and had come down to the lobby again. He gave his sister a weak smile, trying to reassure her. “I’m fine, Soph, didn’t mean to disappear and worry you.”

 

She rubbed his back and sat next to him. “Chad, you’ve been acting different ever since the first day of the festival. What’s up?”

 

He leaned back on the tasteful beige sofa, his sleep-deprived mind still trying to work everything out. He couldn’t tell her what was really bothering him, he’d never officially come out to his family. “I’m just not used to the city is all,” he murmured. 

 

God, he was so tired. He hadn’t slept since they left Albuquerque, only really lightly dozing. He was just so  _ tired _ . “It’s more than that,” Sophia said softly. “I may not see you very much anymore, little brother, but I still know you forward and back. Something’s really bothering you.”

 

Chad smirked humorlessly- forward and back. Did she know he was gay? Did she know he’d been fucking every man on his campus? Of course not. His fatigue-dry eyes suddenly grew wet with tears, and he slumped forward with his face in one hand, trying to make it stop. “Fuck,” he sobbed quietly. He didn’t even know why he was crying, he hadn’t done so since… damn it, he didn’t need to think about that now.

 

Sophia rubbed his back in concern, softly murmuring false reassurances to him. He knew he should just cry and get it over with, he knew his sister wouldn’t tell anyone about it, so he turned and hugged her tightly, pressed his face against her shoulder and let his shoulders shake. He cried until he couldn’t breath, then pulled away. “Chad, please let me know what’s doing this to you.” 

 

Chad stood up, but Sophia followed him. “I… Soph I want to tell you, I really do, but,” he trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to tell her, didn’t know where to start even if he could find the words. He was so fucking tired. He could blame everything on that, and he could blame the city for keeping him awake. 

 

***

 

He came to in an alley, slumped against the wall of an old grimey brick building. It took him a moment to realise why he was there, to remember the night before. He had to show Ryan that he cared, show him that he would give up everything for him. He’d told Sophia that he had to do something, and to leave on the plane if he wasn’t back in time. He’d known that he wouldn’t be back to make the plane. 

 

He stood up stiffly and headed out to the bright city street, feeling tiny and horribly out of place among the bustling people. He’d never liked big cities. He took out his phone- the only thing he had ther than the clothes on his back. He scrolled through his contacts, scowling at all of the one-nighters he had in case he couldn’t sleep, before hitting call on one. “Talk to me,” came the answer.

 

“Troy! Is Gabriella with you?”

 

“Chad? Dude, what’s up? Did you patch up things with-”

 

“Not now, I’ll tell you later. I need to talk to Gabi.”

 

“Um, okay, hang on,” there was a pause, some scuffling sounds as the phone was passed to another person, and Chad started walking impatiently. 

 

“Chad?”

 

Gabriella’s voice, good. “Hey! Do you happen to know Ryan’s address?”

 

She hesitated, and Chad had to dodge around a small group of people at the last second. “Chad, what are you planning?”

 

“I need him. I… I need him to know that I would do anything for him.”

 

***

 

Everything had to be perfect, the timing had to be exact. He was overtaken by a strong sense of calm, every step even and steady. It was Kelsi’s birthday soon and he wanted the cake to be perfect. “Zeke, I can’t keep the cat from jumping on the counters and knocking stuff over, is a little bit of movement alright?”

 

The calm voice he knew so well filtered through the cell phone, smooth despite the long distance, “A little is okay, but don’t dance or jump until it’s done. You said it was red velvet?”

 

Ryan smirked, “Yeah, it’s her favorite. I was thinking something really fancy for the icing, have any ideas?” He did want it to be special for her, but he wasn’t sure if he could do anything too intricate. There was a knock at the door and Ryan froze. Kelsi wasn’t home already, was she? Wait that was dumb, she would just use her key- unless she’d forgotten to take it with her… “Zeke, hang on, someone’s at the door.”

 

He moved his cell phone away from his mouth and went to open the door- and almost dropped it when he saw a bedraggled looking Chad standing there. “Hey,” Chad said awkwardly, smiling timidly. Ryan was silent, phone still to his ear, mouth agape. “I know you probably hate my guts, and you should, you have every right, but…” he broke off, taking a deep breath. “I fucking love you with everything I have, Ryan Evans, and I fucked up big time. I’m an idiot, and I don’t deserve you, but you make me realise that the world isn’t all about me.”

 

Ryan stopped him with a hand on his strong shoulder. “Shut up,” he said softly, then into the phone, “Zeke, I gotta go.” He hung up, slipped his phone into his back pocket, and pulled Chad into his apartment. He sat Chad down on the couch and went to check the cake. He stood by the oven for a couple of minutes in silence, waiting to take it out before he had a chance to get distracted with the man in his living room. It didn’t even occur to him that he should think out the situation- his mind was at a complete blank.

 

He took the cake out when the timer beeped and set it on the counter to cool, picking up Mungojerrie and putting the tiny lilac siamese in his room so he wouldn’t eat the cake. He went back into the living room and sat down next to Chad, silent, not looking at him. He heard Chad swallow, then, “I’ll try to be better. I’d do literally anything for you. I-” but then he broke off again, stumbling on his words. There was silence again for a while, then Chad leaned in, aiming for a kiss, but Ryan shied away. “Sorry,” Chad breathed, his voice laced with grief.

 

“I want to kiss you, you know.” Ryan murmured. Chad was silent, but obviously listening closely, “I really want to. But we know where that’ll go. We both know that our relationship has to be about more than sex if it’s going to work. I know that you came here to apologise, and I know that means I’m supposed to fall into your arms and everything is supposed to be alright, but I can’t. I just can’t anymore.”

 

Chad pressed his hand to his eye and gasped out a quiet, “ _ Fuck _ .” 

 

Ryan finally glanced at him, his heart twisting. “Do you have anywhere to go tonight?”

 

Chad sniffed, forcing himself to calm down. “No, uh, my sisters went back to New Mexico yesterday. I kinda figured the whole romantic gesture thing would work,” he said the last part with humour. 

 

“I’d offer to let you stay here but Kelsi’s birthday is in two days. That and I’m not sure how long I can keep myself off of you when we’re under the same roof.” Chad sat there, staring at the wall, and Ryan knew him well enough to know that Chad was fighting with himself about his decision to stay in New York with nothing. “I can call Mark and ask him.”

 

Chad looked up, surprise and hope mingling in his expression. “You think he’d let me stay?”

 

Ryan sighed, “It’s worth a shot. Plus he’d pretty much do anything for me.” He spun and headed into the kitchen before he could see Chad’s reaction- he’d never mentioned he’d gotten a new boyfriend.

 

***

 

“I’m not saying you have to get along, and you have no reason to be so jealous!” Ryan was angry, trying his best not to yell and disturb Chad and Kelsi in the other room. 

 

“You told me about him, Ryan. You really expect me to let your abusive ex-boyfriend stay with me while you make up your mind about him?”

 

“I never said that! I-”

 

“You sure as hell implied it!”

 

Ryan was silent for a moment, collecting himself. Deep breaths. “I just want to know if he can stay with you for a few days.” 

 

“I give you so much, I treat you like a prince, and this is what I get?”

 

Ryan hung up without answering, he didn’t have the energy. He went back into the other room, sitting on the couch while keeping Kelsi between him and Chad. Kelsi put a hand on his shoulder and asked quietly, “No luck?”

 

Ryan shook his head, “None at all.” In fact it may be time to cut him loose.” Kelsi gave him a hug and the three of them all just sat there quietly for awhile. 

 

“Maybe I should just go.” Ryan jerked his head over to face Chad, but stopped himself from arguing. What other option did they have? “I mean, this was probably a bad idea, I’m sorry.”

 

“Where would you go?” Kelsi asked. “It’s not like any of us can get you a plane ticket back to New Mexico on such a short notice.”

 

“I can hitchhike. It’s not like I can’t take care of myself what with being in sports all my life.”

 

“No.” Ryan deadpanned. No way was he letting anyone he knew hitchhike across the country. “I can sleep in Kelsi’s room and you can take mine. Mungojerrie likes to cause trouble at night and if any of us try the couch we’ll get no sleep at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter!  
> More coming soon!!
> 
> and please, let me know what you think! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite a ride, hasn't it my friends?  
> This segment took much much longer than I'd expected, but here we are-  
> The last chapter. I hope I ended it alright for you guys. 
> 
> And please, take a look at my end notes.

Chad was awakened in the middle of the night with a hand on his groin. He sighed feeling his dick react to the touch and his hips slide back a fraction before his mind caught up with him. Ryan didn’t want anything physical yet, or maybe even ever anymore. Maybe he changed his mind? “I’m sorry about earlier,” a slightly familiar voice whispered in his ear. 

 

But then he turned around and was met with first a shocked expression, then a punch square in the nose. “Holy fuck, dude!” Chad grunted, then was punched again, this time connecting with his cheekbone. Chad flailed, trying to grab hold of his offender without harming him, feeling his temper ready to boil over at any second. He finally snapped and grabbed the forearm before he could be decked again, spun up and off of the bed and slammed the body against the wall chest first, twisting the arm. “The fuck are you?” he hissed.

 

“Get the fuck off of me you little bitch!”

 

Ryan swung the door open and just stared at them. After a moment of utter silence, he murmured in a hushed tone, “Mark…?” Chad let him go, shoving him away. “What’s going on, why are you here?”

 

Mark straightened his shirt angrily. “I was coming to apologise to you for how I acted earlier, but I guess you’ve made up your mind.” Chad glared at him, ready to pounce if he so much as made a move to hurt Ryan. “I guess it’s time I’ve made up my mind about what to do with you too.”

 

“You didn’t answer me. What happened?”

 

“Why don’t you fucking tell me, you-”

 

Chad interrupted, “He came in, saw me in your bed, and I’m assuming he panicked and started throwing punches until I pinned him.” Ryan nodded, arms crossed, then Chad turned to Mark, “I’m here because you refused to give me a place to stay, and Ryan’s too nice of a guy to put me out on the street.”

 

Mark advanced on him, “Listen here, you little fuck-”

 

Ryan cut him off, jerking him back a little. “Mark. A word please?” Chad watched as they stepped out of the room. He hoped nothing bad was about to happen.

 

***

 

“Listen, Mark,” Ryan began once they were out of earshot, “Chad risked everything to apologise to me. To apologise for everything he’s done and to tell me that he’s more than willing to change. The thing is-”

 

“People don’t just change,” Mark said over him, but Ryan repeated himself.

 

“ _ The thing is _ , I don’t want him to change.” Mark stared wide-eyed at him, speechless, so Ryan went on, “I love that stubborn, competitive, stereotypical jock. Sure there’s a few things I find annoying as hell, like his tendency to follow peer pressure instead of his own heart, but I fucking love him.”

 

Mark was silent for a second, then scoffed, “What, and you never loved me?”

 

Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond. He’d had this conversation so many times with himself, and even though he knew the answer he couldn’t ever really bring himself to admit it. Maybe it was time to just… let go. “No,” he whispered, lowering his gaze. 

 

“What?” Mark murmured back, getting quiet and serious. 

 

“I-I think I just got together with you because it… It seemed like the thing to do. You were here, and you were so perfect but I just didn’t- I don’t  _ feel _ anything for you. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Mark looked so hurt, so angry.

 

“I figured that if I went with it for long enough I’d grow to feel something, and you were like the knight in shining armour. I think it’d be best if we didn’t see eachother anymore.” Ryan hugged him tightly, then walked him to the door. He was sad to lose him, but at the same time it felt tremendously freeing. 

 

Mark gave him a deep look, the kind that usually meant he was going to kiss him, but then turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him for the last time.

 

***

 

“Happy birthday!” Ryan sang out in a chorus, carrying a red velvet cake into the living room. It was frosted white with red roses here and there. Beautiful, simple. Kelsi gasped, jumping up and hugging her friend tightly as soon as he’d set the cake safely onto the coffee table. He handed her a little box, wrapped in elegant red paper with a thin white and gold ribbon. “Chad, get in here!” he called towards his bedroom. 

 

“Coming!” came the reply. Ryan smiled at Kelsi, who was brimming with happiness, and in a few seconds Chad came to join them, a medium sized box under his arm. It was wrapped in newsprint. He handed it to Kelsi and grinned. “Happy birthday, shorty,” he teased.

 

“Hey!” she played along, a content smile still on her face. “Thanks guys. This birthday is a lot better than I was expecting what with everyone all spread across the country!”

 

“What did the others do for the occasion, Kels?” Ryan asked, sitting cross legged on the couch, Chad settling next to him.

 

“Gabi sent me a Stanford hoodie in the mail which should arrive today, and Troy sent one of his old basketball jerseys which he made into a crop top in the same box. Taylor sent a card because college is eating all of her money, and Zeke sent cookies. Sharpay sent me an autographed photo of herself, as usual.” 

 

“Well open ours! See what else you got!” Ryan said eagerly. He was always one for excitement, and birthdays were one of his favorite holidays- especially when they weren’t his own. He loved making those close to him happy, and he’d do just about anything to ensure they had a good day. 

 

Kelsi picked up Ryan’s small box, carefully unwrapping it and lifting the little white lid. She gasped and lifted out a thin chain with a tiny silver grand piano hanging from it. “Oh, Ryan! How did you…” she began but stopped herself, knowing how sensitive the subject of money was, especially since he’d been cut off from his family. 

 

Ryan just smiled, “It’s okay Kelsi. I bought it awhile back before all of this started, I just had to hope you’d still like composing on the piano.” He helped her put it on, then sat back down to see what Chad had given her. What he could possibly get her on such short notice with no money was beyond him. 

 

Until she opened the box. She lifted out a mobile adorned with paper cranes and stars of all different colours. “Did you make this?” Kelsi asked, awed. 

 

Chad nodded, grinning with embarrassment. “Yeah, uh, the frame is made from a couple of coat hangers, and I used sewing thread to attach the birds and stars which I made from gum wrappers, pieces of newspaper and other random scraps of paper.” 

 

“Since when did you know origami?” Ryan asked in disbelief. 

 

Chad smirked shyly again, “Uh, well couch said it would make me more nimble. You shoulda seen me my first year in baseball. Butter fingers times ten. Once I took this up I could just about do anything, plus it was fun.”

 

Kelsi stood up, the mobile in her hands. “I’m going go hang it up! It’ll sure add a spark to that boring old room of Beethoven posters.”

 

They watched her disappear behind her bedroom door, and then Chad turned to Ryan. “Hey, I need to ask you a question.” 

 

Ryan sighed, sensing the seriousness of the situation, but nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”

 

Chad slid off of the couch, settling on one knee. Ryan’s eyes widened in shock. A little ring box appeared, and Chad cleared his throat. “Now, I know that we’re still young, and I know that we’re both still changing- hopefully for the better- but I need you to know how serious I am.” Chad took a deep breath, calming himself. “Ryan Evans,” he paused to flip open the box, revealing his class ring, “Will you take this ring as a promise from me to always make you smile? To always be loyal and listen to your side of things, to wake you up gently and make you pancakes on Saturday mornings? To stick up for both of us and stay open-minded?”

 

Ryan almost laughed. His heart was beating a hundred miles a minute, and even though Chad wasn’t  _ proposing _ he was still proposing a pretty big promise. He surprised himself when he opened his mouth and whispered, “Yes.”

 

Chad let out a breath, shaky with relief. He smiled widely and slipped the ring onto Ryan’s right hand ring finger. He was happier than he’d ever been, and though he’d probably still be sleeping away from Ryan for now, he knew they’d get back to where they were when all of this started- or at least pretty damn close. 

 

Only time would tell if the promise would hold or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it.   
> Let me know what you think, I love to hear all of your folks' feedback!
> 
> If you guys really want, I'll also continue this!  
> That's right, Future!fics!!  
> domestic life! jobs! houses! pets! the works, people!
> 
>  
> 
> I'll also be working on re-creating these at some point, so feel free to check them out.


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